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At THIS point, I would consult her doctor. Her body has become immune to it. My mother, who also took melatonin, it stopped working after awhile. She now uses CBD to get her to sleep.
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lijoma62 Sep 2020
I tried CBD oil for sleep. It didn’t help. However, I used it ion my arthritic hands at night n it helped relive the pain... and I fell asleep sooner.
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I’m very blessed to have both my grandmas 1 will be 102 yrs old in November and other with dementia is about your mothers same age with the same waking up or not able to sleep very well at night. We found out if she’s on a regular schedule and takes a nap during the day for a hour when it’s time to go to bed she able to at least sleep good at night. Also we avoided caffeine and Sugar after lunch. Her doctor also adjust her meds and she has been taken namenda for dementia for about 4 yes now and it has helped. But it’s not a complete end all of the problem she does has a few nights that she can’t sleep. Praying for you.
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My mother has Dementia the medical term that you mother is going through is call sun downing where the Dementia person gets their morning and night confused.  Consult her doctor to see what can be done or talk to a neurologists.
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Our psych consult told us that a study showed Melatonin does not increase it's effectiveness at doses over 6mg; so, there's no point in taking more than that. Secondly, Melatonin has proven to INCREASE dementia symptoms. 84 year old mom (living with us) has been GREATLY improved by taking Quetiapine (Seroquel) at bedtime. She no longer has the terrible nighttime hallucinations/disorientation. She started at 1/2 tab of 25mg. Took that for 3 months. The dreams/hallucinations started again, so she was increased to a whole tab of 25mg. We've been using that dose for 3 months now. I can't begin to tell you the difference! (We, honestly, were at a breaking point.) You can do some research on it; and, ask your geriatric caregiver. I have also found the Facebook page "Don on Dementia" to have wonderful articles that help me. Best of wishes!
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Make sure her room is very dark. Maybe blackout curtains. My dad sleeps better with darkout curtains.
Try lavender lotions on her before see goes to sleep. Also, keep a bedtime routine.
Tell her that her husband will wake her when it is morning. She should wait for him before getting up. Also try a music alarm clock. Tell her when the music goes on, it is morning. If no music, stay in bed.
God bless
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My husband and I tried melatonin, and it had the exact opposite effect on us. Not only did we not sleep better, but I had horrible nightmares. So many things are touted as being solutions to problems just because they are natural. Many natural things are harmful, and not everything works the same in all people.
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earlybird Sep 2020
I asked my mothers doctor about her aggressive behavior while taking melatonin, the neurologist said it could have been a nightmare. Glad to know, I did take her off it and only give it to her on occasion when she has a restless night. Good advice, thank you. Nightmares have subsided.
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Hello. I am sorry to read of your scenario. I know a certified Stanford sleep psychologist (less than 100 in the country to my understanding in knowing her). She has stated many times 2 things:
1. Melatonin should be taken in much smaller amounts than what is typically provided by manufacturers.
2. After a week or so it typically loses its effectiveness.

Here is an article I found that might assist. Perhaps a geriatric sleep psychologist could help?

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/melatonin-how-much-should-i-take-for-a-good-nights-rest/
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Please talk to her doctor. There are many different sleep medications as well as anxiety medications (which might help) and the doctor would know if she could tolerate any of them. If possible take her to a geriatric specialist. Best of luck. It is very hard.
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Well, my mother will be 94 soon and nothing works to get her to stay asleep all night, and we've tried nearly everything. The only thing that DOES work is Ambien, and the doctor won't prescribe it anymore b/c of her dementia and b/c she broke her foot years ago after getting up in the middle of the night and falling into the bathtub after falling asleep on the toilet and stumbling into said bathtub afterward. My DIL wound up smearing a large tub of peanut butter all over her CAT while 'sleepwalking' with Ambien, having no recollection of doing so in the morning, after finding her cat in rough condition!

Melatonin is a placebo, in my experience. ZZzzquil works, but makes her groggy the next morning which she doesn't like. If that were me, I'd TAKE the grogginess. She now takes 2 pain killers and Gabapentin before bedtime, falls asleep, and is up within a few hours asking for something else to knock her out. It's a pattern which seems to worsen with her dementia. She sleeps well for a couple days, then badly for the next few days. When her body is thoroughly exhausted, she sleeps well. Then she's up and miserable for the next few days. Her doctors have found that nothing works long term to keep her asleep and comfortable.

Dementia is horrible. Your father has to keep your mother awake as much as possible during the day, avoiding naps, and then not even entertain the thought of taking her out for breakfast in the middle of the night. He needs to contact her doctor to formulate a plan to deal with the situation, and see if there is a prescription medication she can be given to keep her asleep and turn her body clock around. Here is a useful link on this very subject from Alzheimers.org:

https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/stages-behaviors/sleep-issues-sundowning

Wishing you and your dad the best of luck dealing with such a stressful situation!
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sunshinelife Sep 2020
peanut buttering the cat....LOL :))) you made my day...image the look on the cats face as he liked off the sticky mess...:)
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My BEST sleep aid is 50-100 mgs of Seroquel. It's a drug that has a wide range of dosages. I take it and go to bed and sleep in a DARK room. The one great advantage of this is that I go BACK to sleep if I wake up (and I have lousy sleep--have for many years.) My doc has no problem if I take more than 100 mgs. When my daughter was in a psych hospital for a few weeks (20 years ago) she was on like 500 mgs of Seroquel and was a zombie---but she was able to detox from all the nasty street drugs she's been on.

If you are not sleeping well, nothing else in your life can go well--good sleep is the basis of a good day and basic good health.
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gwenny Sep 2020
Is Seroquel the brand name or generic? I have chronic insomnia and have been on Zolpidem er 6.25 mg for about 10 years. I am able to sleep, but I always feel so tired when I wake up. When I changed insurance companies back in June, the new company did not include the extended release form of Zolpidem in their formulary but did include Zolpidem 10 mg. I tried it for one month and it was terrible. My doctor requested that my new insurance cover the extended release Zolpidem because I experienced terrible side-effects with the 10 mg medication. My heart goes out to anybody who suffers with insomnia.
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Hello! I feel your frustrations. I had taken care of both my parents until they passed. My sleeping pattern had changed drastically in taking care of them ... and had resulted in my not getting my own circadian sleeping rhythm. Getting only 4 hrs of restless sleep I tried everything. Drs gave me prescriptions that didn’t last. So I tried melatonin n multiple other health food store sleep remedies. Still no quality sleep. So frustrated I kept adding diphenhydramine tablets, Z QUIL , upped the melatonin and some kind of pm ibuprofen...NOTHING Worked. I also would wake up with full leg cramps aka Charlie horses !! I also have a cpap which was helpful for breathing. However, I had heard from a number of friends who had various surgeries n still later had pain. What they all agreed upon was not chasing the sleepless pain with big Pharma !! So many pills have terrible side effects , too. So.... visiting my sister in a state where medical marijuana is legal, i went to a legitimate, legal facility that I was able to easily obtain a tincture for sleep. I don’t n wouldn’t want to smoke n didn’t want gummies ( no sugar before sleep). The amount of the tincture was very small.... a little smaller than a grain of rice on a small piece of bread, cereal piece or tip of a cracker. Easy to swallow n really no taste.... could melt in your mouth or swallow it whichever is easiest.
That first night of just that, I slept for 7 hrs and 45 min !!!! No leg cramps or restlessness. It only took about 10 to at most 15 minutes to make me sleepy. Having been on it for over 2 weeks now , the difference is incredible and sleeping for 8 hrs now. I am happier, more awake, lucid n more productive the next day. I’ll b 72 in a few months and have no qualms about taking the thc.
My need for a fulfilling sleep certainly supersedes whatever others poo poo about it. It works for me n even tho I am new to taking the tincture I will continue to do more research. I pray it becomes legal where I live. My dr. wanted to just keep me taking pills after pills $$$.
Im aware that situations w family, finances, people who have different needs etc. is paramount in finding what works. In my case , I was desperate and I found my life improve. I hope you find a viable solution. 🤗👍🙏
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Sarah3 Sep 2020
What brand tincture is it
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I make mom marijuana tea or put a couple of drops of herbal essence of rose oil on her pillow or make her lavender tea. They are switched up every couple of days so her body does not get used to them.
Of course it helps that I grow my own.
Try and play pink noise from youtube for her that lasts a couple of hours. That works great too.
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sunshinelife Sep 2020
great ideas...as long as you have one day off all herbs & supplements each week no tolerance will develop
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Get your Mothers iron & b12 levels checked. A great number of elderly have anemia. Insomnia is a very common symptom of anemia.
Make sure she takes ferrous "gluconate" tabs..with breakfast. Not ferrous sulphate .which is commonly recommended...yet causes gut upsets & constipation.
Give the ferrous gluconate with breakfast all at one time. And a b12 that dissolves in the mouth after breakfast called 'sub lingual'.
Both the gluconate & b12 are OTC..and don't require a prescription.
There are no side effects as they are nutrients essential for life & health of the body. Not drugs
A little orange juice or any fresh fruits high in vitamin c with breakfast will greatly enhance the absorption of the iron. Its a very difficult mineral to absorb
Get them to have a little exercise each day. Walking is the best..even around the block a couple of times. If they are not able, stretches at home following a tv show or video of stretches for seniors would be very helpful
A tea of 1;1 catnip & chamomile 1tspn to 1 cup...or 1oz herb to 1pint water
Boil the water. Turn off. Add herbs. Let soak.
In a cup, drink as soon as preferred with honey. If you make 1 or 2 pints at a time. That is best. Let sit overnight in the pot. Strain & press out the juice from the herbs into a glass container with a lid. Will keep in the fridge for up to 3 days.
Drink 2 or 3 cups a day..not just at bedtime. Use distilled water only. This will provide 30% more nutritional value. Others may tell you distilled will draw essential minerals from the body. I assure you it does not. And can recommend reading in this regard if you would like
The tea has many benefits for digestion, skin, nerves, and of course deep sleep.
There are no side effects
Melatonin is a drug by definiton & disturbs REM sleep, which is essential to the health of the body. I recommend you stop this asap. Instead 3 valerian caps an hour before bed is healthy & does relax the body for deep sleep
The rhythm of activity & sleep are hard wired into the body. When this pattern is disturbed one can't 'just take xyz' & have it restored instantly. As some drug commercials would imply
It takes having a routine, persistence & patience. I highly encourage you to consider the lifestyle changes I mentioned, the supplements, exercise etc
I know how difficult taking care of an elderly loved one is. ..caring for my Grandfather has been so so demanding...I have learned so much in the process.
Your parents are lucky to have such a sincere caring person for a daughter
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ZWoman Sep 2020
All this is well and good but the key here is Alzheimer's. None of the normal things work anymore.
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Lots of thoughts.
*Dump the melatonin.
*Neurological evaluation; when were her latest MRI + CT scans?
*Get her tested for basics: iron(Fe), D, NaCl (yes,salt levels).
*Hire a home health aide, STAT
*Remove all of the following from her bedroom;wi-fi, TV, fluorescent "nrg saving" lightbulbs
*Utilize a fan in the room, for background "white" noise.
*Install blackout window curtains/shades.
*Remove all "essential oils." NEVER, never, utilize any sort of "lavender" or other manufactured oils.
*Get her outside more during the day. let her walk barefoot in the grass, or wherever. Her generation wasn't forced to wear shoes when younger, barefoot walking physically "grounds" her, everyone needs that.
*Research DDI Direct drug interactions about every Rx OTC etc.
NO CBD
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ZWoman Sep 2020
All that is well and good but the key here is Alzheimer's. Those things no longer apply.
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I keep reminding my mother (99) that she can't expect to sleep all day AND all night. Like babies, we want them to be peaceful and satisfied constantly, but they can't sleep all day and expect to sleep all night as well. Does you elder play any board games? That seems to help my mother get her brain in a good place. Do you read aloud to her?
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Melatonin just helps a person drift off to sleep. My husband takes one every night right at bedtime. It is not designed to keep a person asleep for several hours so you are beating a dead horse on that issue. My mother napped off and on during the day because she was bedridden at home. Would yell for my Dad at 2:00 AM that she needed to “pee”. He was so tired because he had congestive heart failure and COPD. We had help come in during the day to make her puréed breakfast and lunch and give her a bath so paying around the clock to handle her at night was not an option. She had dementia but terrible arthritis too that made her immobile. Finally, when she had to go to the hospital, we had Mom sent on to a nursing home. Was it hard? Yes! But, she was taking Dad down in a big way. Screaming at him, making him get up when she did not have to pee, just wanted to talk. Dad did not want her to go to a facility but he said he couldn’t pick her up anymore when she rolled herself into the floorlate at night. Talk to your mother’s DOCTOR and tell him/her about the Melatonin not working for her. Maybe the doctor has something better. My sister and I did everything possible to keep Mom at home until she started taking everybody down. My sister started seeing a chiropractor from pulling at my Mom to get her sitting up. Dad bought a used handicap van with wheelchair lift. It took two people besides Dad to get her to the doctor’s office, loading and unloading and talking to the doctor. She needed 24/7 care......obviously. Forget Melatonin. Talk to doctor.
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P.S. Why are people recommending blackout curtains on here when the sleep trouble is at night when it is dark??
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Sarah3 Sep 2020
darkness triggers the body to release hormones for sleep so if anything they can’t hurt
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I work the overnight shift and blackout curtains work great! Ambien works great for sleep issues but unfortunately causes a lot of side effects including sleep walking. Keeping mom up all day with no naps will help also. Unfortunately most sleep aids cause grogginess the next morning and I never found melatonin to work.
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My mom takes meotonnin and larazapan
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1st thinv check with her Dr.

2nd thing try letting her listen to waves or nature sounds when trying to sleep. Talk to her to find out what she thinks is making her sleepless. Does she have to go to the bathroom too much? Did she eat too late? Does she want a snack?

Maybe your mom and Dad could slerp in separate rooms or at least separate beds.

Also, it's not a good idea to be on such a high dose of melatonin for a long period of time.

Try having your mom take a nice soak in a tub right before bed.

Maybe your mom needs it to be darker in her room.

Maybe her bed isn't comfortable.
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My mom takes 20mg melatonin nearly every night. I give them just before I brush her teeth and to bed. She rarely takes daytime naps. Does your mom take meds causing alertness or insomnia? Eating too close to bedtime causes wakeness while body digesting food. Any changes to increase melatonin should be mentioned to Dr first. You are right to be concerned with your father's health. Separate bedrooms possible? And no, he should not be driving at night.
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If you want Melatonin to work, you're supposed to take a low dose (about 5 mg) 2 hours before bedtime. But it's a short-term solution. Benadryl (or its generic version) works better. I'm not sure any drug or supplement is stronger than the will of an eighty or ninety-year-old sundowning Alzheimer's patient convinced it's morning when it's actually 2 AM.
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ZWoman Sep 2020
Do not give Benadryl to any elders, with or without Alzheimer's. Benadryl will cause an elderly person to have memory loss.
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To help your mom sleep, ask Dr. If Trazadone in a low dose would help? My mom wouldn't sleep till very late at night & she didn't nap, even with walks during the day.
Dr. Gave Gabapenten, made her so hyper & psychotic, trying to run away every day!
We got a bottle of Kava (herbal) pills 500mg, 2x/day. Stopped the Gabapenten. Now Mom is very calm and goes to bed by 9:30.
I feel your pain, sending hugs.
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sunshinelife Dec 2020
Really aware lady to take your Mother off the drugs. Can't win on drugs
Its a down hill painful slide
With all due respect I offer the following..Kava can cause a little liver irritation if used consistently.
Sometimes is fine. However, its helpful to vary the herbs, and foods.
Teas are always helpful. Chamomile + Catnip is very helpful for restful long deep sleep
And Valerian caps. Additionally Magnesium Citrate 2.250mg before bed.
There's also magnesium fizzy powder called "Calm"
People seems to like the taste, the fizz & the effect.
Magnesium deficiency is very common in usa.
Make sure you have your dr check Mum's iron and b12. These deficiencies are very very common in the elderly. And these anemias interfere with sleep
Lastly, if you give herbs/supplements 6 days, rest sundays, then repeat you will get better results.
Your Mum is lucky to have such an intelligent aware daughter
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My dad’s 90 and has Alzheimer’s and many other conditions including rheumatoid arthritis and cancer. His sleep cycle had been screwed up for past 5 years. We decided to try medical marijuana with equal parts CBD and THC in capsule form twice a day. It’s been great! It helps his mood and lessens anxiety (we dumped his antidepressant), helps with pain, encourages appetite and helps him sleep as he comes off about 4 hours of focus and whole body relaxation. IDK if legal there, but you might consider it. Amazing what nights of 5-7 hours sleep can do for a guy!
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Shane1124 Sep 2020
Great idea. THC/CBD comes in drops that can be given under the tongue as well.
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11 years ago, I dealt with insomnia and had to learn what really works to give one restful sleep. I learned things that apply for me, largely because they apply to most people. Besides having a clear conscience (thank God) and a lot activity most every day so you've "banked" a reason for restful sleep, there are definitely smart things to do to insure success. Supplements - for a lot of people, work, BUT, it is a potential pitfall to think that the same sleep aid every night will always work well. I strongly feel that it is a good idea to be prepared to change up things when/if needed. Here's me: Melatonin - works sometimes, Valerian root (especially the extract) - works even better. A nice warm bubble bath with aromatic epsom salts is great for serious relaxing before bed. I hardly ever take ibuprofen or anything for pain, but occasionally, if I have some pain (injury, worn muscles, etc.) and need to change up my sleep supplement, ibuprofen definitely enables deep sleep. I would not take this in big doses or for more than 2-3 nights together, and then not again for months really. All natural is better than synthetic drugs for several good reasons, but the main being overall health and less, if any side effects. Oh, one quick thing people that use Valerian learn..You dream vivid, colorful dreams...meaning...REM sleep. Rapid Eye Movement sleep is your deepest sleep and is often accompanied by dreams. That's a big hint that it works!

This is huge - Things to do well before bedtime:
- Start turning lights off early well before bedtime - 1 hr or more
- Take showers 90 minutes before bedtime (showers can wake you up)
- Turn the volume of all noise DOWN an hour before bedtime
- Most people sleep better when it is a cooler environment. You can always add a blankie.

I hope and pray that solutions are found for anyone struggling with sleep loss. That is a very serious health problem. I believe what I do works, works for many, and it is largely common sense and tried and true. There is much more, but I digress (I do get in a good stretch usually before bed, as it relaxes muscles and even prevents pain).
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sunshinelife Dec 2020
You have very sound and practical information listed. Everything in Nature occurs slowly but surely...just as you describe adjusting to turn the body off ready for sleep. Wise lady.
6 cups of Epsom Salts in a big warm bath & soak for 20 mins is a winner. The magnesium relaxed nerves & muscles for sleep.
Listening to light soft classical music is helpful also I find.
Castor oil packs over the abdomen as described by Edgar Cayce (google his site) "the Sleeping Prophet" is as close to a miracle for insomnia as I have ever found after my work career in medicine..and now traditional medicine. And costs pennies. 2 American presidents consulted with Cayce in his day.
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redsnappa7764: I see that your mother has Alzheimer's in your profile. Perhaps it is time to think about facility living.
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truthbetold Sep 2020
My mom has dementia symptoms and it’s down to being managed quite nicely now that I’ve got supports in place. All of the agitation and disturbing confused behaviors can be resolved or at best minimized by finding a doctor experienced with strategic use of meds nutrition lifestyle and supplements .

My fathers personality is very disruptive but now it’s completely manageable using those methods I mentioned. The doctor is even surprised . Dr Dale Bredesen takes the lead so far with his program ( The End of Alzheimer’s) which has many people applying it on their own . It’s recently been updated because it’s not a one single pill approach and he’s learning new things as more people report their experiences trying the protocols.

It’s very effective but if you are one person as caregiver , then the challenge is to steal a few hours to read the book or to make phone calls and find a practitioner who will do the blood tests. The key thing is a doctor that understands functional or root cause of illness.

We think an illness is only always a germ infection the person or genetic but it’s really just 3% genetics and the germs are our own body sending out microbes to fix cells that become sick. The result of cells getting repaired causes blood and lymph to an area and this causes inflammation. With Alzheimer’s type symptoms, there’s a certain type of protective inflammation and with heart issues that’s another type of inflammation. Same with a sprain or fall. The body will swell up at the site of injury because that area is damaged so blood brings repair cells to fix the body.

The same principle happens when you fix a leaky roof . That’s dr Bredesen analogy. Think of Alzheimer’s as a leaky roof with 30 holes to fix. As you plug or fix the holes, the leaking and damage becomes less and less until everything is dry and the roof is repaired. Same with cognitive issues. You start to see reversal or restoration of the person .
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My trusty vitamin book suggests calcium/magnesium combination. Comes in capsule form which contains both calcium and magnesium and works for me. Recommends 500 mg. of calcium and 250 mg. of magnesium taken with milk about 20 minutes before desired bedtime.
My most recent purchase is capsules with 1000 mg. calcium and 500 magnesium, plus 400 mg. Vitamin D , which helps with absorption. I only take 1 capsule and that is sufficient. I take with a little milk. Not enough to make me need to pee during the night.
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truthbetold Sep 2020
I would like to add that asking the pharmacist and also alerting her hopefully geriatric knowledgeable physician in addition to a nutritionist simultaneously to integrate these vitamins and others because sometimes medicine interactions and food adjustments and what time foods and meds and vitamins are taken and HOW they are taken , makes a big difference in sleep cycles. My dad would have a restless night if he goes to lay down to sleep without waiting 2-3 hours after eating or even taking a supplement with bedtime drink. A dr told me if a person has or had reflux , or anyone is susceptible to stomach acid reaching and damaging the sphincter. That could be disturbing the body digestive system and respiratory in even subtle ways causing common symptoms we would never even think would be caused by this simple factor of gasses coming up the throat.

If eating or drinking late, elevate the upper part of the bed and then lower it after an hour or two have passed. Or at the first night time toilet visit.
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ZWoman, SOME research shows that SOME people eventually, after taking Benadryl every night for at least a decade, have some memory issues. I didn't mention it because: a) it's by no means proven that Benadryl causes memory loss; b) it takes years for the damage to occur, if it ever does; and c) even if an 85-year-old woman started taking it now, it wouldn't cause problems (if it were ever going to) until she was 95. This doesn't even take into account d): after more than10 years of Alzheimer's how many memories do you think someone has left to lose. So I stand by my recommendation of Benadryl.
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I would try to go for the naturals.

There are herbal teas for sleep. You can put a weighted blanket (they are designed to help you sleep) on her if it is not too hot or uncomfortable.

You can add some soothing noises for sleep in her room. A fan or the sound of ocean waves.

Side note - Some medications also effect sleep.
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onions Sep 2020
I agree with haileybug! ALWAYS use something "natural" over what a doctor prescribes. There's WAY TOO MANY terrible (even life threatening) side effects with the drugs doctors prescribe.
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Get help from a doctor to give her medication to make her sleep through the night. Also, can you move her to a different room and lock the door so she can't bother your father. This is insane. If she has dementia, she should be placed. Do not allow her to do this to the rest of the family - it cannot be tolerated. Act now.
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