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Hello - Looking for some insight on the following:


1. Similar cases of how “you” handled your loved ones fractured femur as healing in your 70’s is very tasking. (How did you handle and support your love one and still work/manage your “own” life?)


2. Do you have stairs? My Mom lives w my husband and I. We have stairs. I’m so concerned we will have to move to accomdate her new way of life.


Thank you,

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I was in a motorcycle vs car accident in 1997 when a station wagon ran a red light doing 50 mph when I was turning left, the car and motorcycle were totaled.
Both my wrists were broken, one was a gamekeeper where the thumb tears the web of skin into the palm, the other wrist hyper extended when it hit the windshield, my left hip hit the A pillar on the windshield tearing off a solidly mounted mirror and bending the A pillar inwards quite a bit.
My femur was broken in 5 places, one was compound at the femoral head ,
(a hip fracture) as it enters the hip socket, I have 5 screws and a rod inserted.
The pain was beyond description both in intensity and duration, it was a year before I was walking normally, I could not kick a ball 2 feet, my leg had to be lifted into cars, I limped and it was hell for a year of extreme pain, if I had taken pain killers for as long as I needed them I would been addicted without question.
I had a kidney stone a few years later and the Dr told me that was the most painful thing a man will ever experience, I told him I have had worse and he asked me what? I told him my femur 5 places 1 compound and he agreed saying normally it is the worst pain comparable to having a baby.
I am amazed at any older person who survives this kind of pain.
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Agree that your mom should go to rehab first. It is absolutely best for her to learn to get back on her feet.

They will teach her and you how to get her upstairs (one step at a time).

Mom may not want to go to rehab but present it in as the most positive thing for her. If she tries to guilt you tell her it’s only 2 weeks or so & her doctor wants her to do it. Often our older folks respond positively if you present it positively & insist she complete rehab on doctor’s orders.

Either way she is going to have to do physical therapy. If she comes home her MD can order this but even when home PT (if ordered) is over she will be required to go to an outpatient PT sessions and you are going to be the one to drive her there (most likely anyway). Thus for you and she, take the rehab stay if offered.

In the meantime, remove throw rugs, clear pathways in prep for her return home.

Recovery time varies but usually 90 days.
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At least think about re-organising spaces in your house. Can you make a bed for your mother downstairs, behind a screen? Can you convert your own upstairs bedroom to be a bed-sittingroom for yourself and your DH, once again with a bed behind a screen. Can you convert a downstairs toilet into a mini bathroom? Think about how they fit everything into a tiny space in a plane, or even better into a train compartment?

If this is your major problem, a bit of lateral thinking about affordable solutions might help.
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Mom should go to rehab to rebuild her strength. Assisted living may be the solution.
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