I am my mothers only son. Currently I am in Afghanistan as a civilian working for Socom. My mothers diabetes recently got out of control, She lives alone but two of my close friends and my Godmother help her and visit her as much as possible. She recently went to the hospital due to her insulin levels and was assigned a Social worker. After about 3 visits the social worker went to my mothers house with a police officer and forced her into a nursing home. How is it possible in this free nation for the government to come into your home and force you out and imprison you in a facility without your consent? She still has her mental capacity. She is just elderly and needs assistance with tasks such as driving and home maintenance. She does NOT need to be held against her will. The social worker never even bothered to call me to let me know what she was working. She even told my friend that was taking care of my mother that if he intervened he would go to jail! I am currently in search of a Elder Law attorney to help my mother and get her out of this situation. If my mother is deemed not able to live alone we have plenty of good friends that will help or and or take her in with them until my return to the states. ANY advice would be much appreciated.
If you still face a stone wll of silence in trying to get in touch, another possibility would be to get online, hire a geriatric care coordinator and give her the mission of getting your Mom to sign a HIPAA form so you can get medical information. By default you'd think her son could get information, though, unless there is a spouse or another sibling who had been caring for her? Typically APS *wants* a family member to take charge if possible, as long as they are not part of the problem in the first place. I am sorry you are going through this and hope it all turns out for the best.
APS would have had a hearing before a Judge. Mom would have had a court appointed lawyer and a professional evaluation before being committed. They would have gotten reports from her MD. Something happened to your mom and your helpers were apparently not helping.
I'm sorry if you have had a bad experience, but fortunately that is not the norm.
I have been in contact by phone with my mother every day since she had her high blood sugar incident.
This was caused by her staying up too late one day and missing her morning meds.
She was taken to the ER when one of her neighbors came by to check on her.
After her stay at the hospital she was sent to rehab for a week and then dropped off at her house. No follow up.
While at rehab they took away several of her meds. Why I have no idea but the only meds they allowed her to keep where her insulin and her blood pressure meds.
This caused her to feel ill and one of my friends that assists her took my mother to the hospital.
During all this time I was in touch with the doctors and nurses. They would even call me at my office number here in Afgh, to give me updates. I spoke to the case worker at the hospital and she told me that other than my mother being diabetic she see's no reason to keep her away from her home.
Fast forward to now:
New social worker which I have never spoken too until last night.
Believe me when I say that I trust my friend when he tells me that this SW's only motive from day one was to get my mother out of her home and into a NH.
Talking ( or trying to talk without being interrupted constantly ) by this social worker makes it clear to me that my friend is being honest with me.
Every answer she gave me for any of my questions involved telling me to hire a attorney. She would not even give me a number to the probate court.
She also claims she had no idea how to contact me. Very hard to believe since I had called her a couple times and left voicemails on her cellphone. Not to mention the fact that the nurses at the hospitals where she was seen also had my contact info. So too did the 1st case worker my mother had.
I am very sad to say but the more I see what is going on the more it seems to me this is being run as a business and not something with the patients best interests in mind.
Currently I am working on having a close friend petition for guardianship while at the same time seeking legal counsel.
Thanks again every one.
I am sorry if I missed some questions asked of me but I am operating on very little sleep for the last couple of days.
I truly appreciate all the input and advice from every one here.
HOWEVER, before you make that very permanent step, you should read this brochure put out by the state of Texas: http://www.dads.state.tx.us/news_info/publications/brochures/pub395-guardianship.pdf
It explains all the pro and cons of guardianship, the fact that there are different levels and what the guardian can and cannot do. He will, essentially, own your mother and can restrict your involvement in her life should you have a falling out. He will have to petition the court constantly for things and prepare statements. It is work, it isn't cheap, and in most cases is forever.
There are options, many of them are outlined in the brochure. Please read it before you do anything or make any decisions you may come to regret in three months when you return home.
Hope everything works out for you and your mother.
https://www.agingcare.com/Living-With-Family
I would just add that you need to have a POA to make decisions and you should make sure that PCP, hospital, police, EMT, neighbors and caregivers have your contact info on file + HIPPA signed by mom, and know you want to be involved and can legally make medical and financial decisions for mom.
I know this SW seemed over zealous, but that's their job to look out for welbeing of patient or elder. The first thing they likely asked was who had legal authority POA and HIPPA to make decisions on moms behalf.
Glad you wrote because this is a valuable lesson to all of us distant caregivers.
I was in my mom's room one day when she was walking unassisted but with a cane, as is her usual habit, between her bed and the bathroom. Her feet got tangled and before I could get to her, she fell, hitting her head on the nightstand. After I assessed her for breaks and cleaned up the blood, DH helped me get her up and into the car, where we took her to the ER. They took a CT scan and checked her over good for breaks, and then had to sew up a cut over her left eyebrow. The plastic surgeon on call did the stitching and today you can hardly see the scar. But her face looked like she went 10 rounds with Mohammed Ali.
Old people have very thin skin and thin blood. They bruise and cut very easily. This fall happened when I was in the room with her, putting clean clothes in her drawers and getting her up and around. Yes, I felt really guilty that I wasn't close enough to try to catch her, but to tell you the truth, she might've pulled me down with her if I had tried. People get old and frail, accidents happen whether or not anyone is watching. We would all like for our parents to live forever (well, maybe not everyone) and certainly we wish for them to be healthy and happy.
If it were possible, I'm sure you would have a job where you weren't so far away for so long at a time. I'm sure you are your mother's biggest advocate. The only way to keep them totally safe from accidents would be to wrap them in bubble wrap and never allow them out of bed. That's not good or healthy either.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Good Luck!