I am my mothers only son. Currently I am in Afghanistan as a civilian working for Socom. My mothers diabetes recently got out of control, She lives alone but two of my close friends and my Godmother help her and visit her as much as possible. She recently went to the hospital due to her insulin levels and was assigned a Social worker. After about 3 visits the social worker went to my mothers house with a police officer and forced her into a nursing home. How is it possible in this free nation for the government to come into your home and force you out and imprison you in a facility without your consent? She still has her mental capacity. She is just elderly and needs assistance with tasks such as driving and home maintenance. She does NOT need to be held against her will. The social worker never even bothered to call me to let me know what she was working. She even told my friend that was taking care of my mother that if he intervened he would go to jail! I am currently in search of a Elder Law attorney to help my mother and get her out of this situation. If my mother is deemed not able to live alone we have plenty of good friends that will help or and or take her in with them until my return to the states. ANY advice would be much appreciated.
According to Texas law, mental competency doesn't matter. The law is written to involve the incapacitated, which is entirely different. It could mean a physical and/or mental incapacity.
Please be sure that your elder law attorney does not fall on the "Wanted" list on stopguardianabuse - it would also behoove you to read the entire website because all of it is true and happens every day all over the nation. If he/she does fall on that list, fire him/her immediately. This is a serious situation that families struggle with all over Texas, and I don't mean to scare you, but the people who did this to your mother want nothing more than her money.
1. Call an Elder Care Attorney - they've been through this. They know what to do. State to him you/her you can't get information from anyone.
2. Call her PCP (Primary Care Physician). After you talk with him/her, tell her the SW is not returning your calls and does s/he know what to do about this.
3. Call the Nursing Home (which may also be serving as a REHAB). Ask how your mother is doing. They may be trying to get her back on track with medications. Also, tell them the SW is not returning calls. Try to talk with the highest person on board.
For your own information: Go on Medicare.gov to find out the rating of the nursing home. It may help you understand where and how she is.
I'm thinking your mother's diabetic numbers were out of control which causes confusion which in turn causes non compliance with medications. It was probably a matter of covering her/his butt because of lawsuits that could result if your mom was found dead. We all believe our parents are 'okay' because they never tell us they're not. It's not anyone's fault. It's life.
Hopefully you're okay. When you are speaking with these people, do not show your anger or how upset you are. It will only make things worse and they won't call you back.
I highly recommend getting ALL OF THE FACTS before making a rash decision. Since you have been far away, things may have changed dramatically with your mother's health status and you would not even realize it.
It may be that she is relieved to be in safe environment, where her medicine will be controlled and good, diabetic friendly meals will be prepared for her. Maybe taking care of the house got to be too much for her. Maybe preparing healthy meals got to be too much. Obviously, for her insulin to be out of whack, and her diabetes to be out of control, something was amiss. Maybe the friends visiting "as much as possible" wasn't enough?
I know this is frustrating and frightening, especially with you being so far away and the time zone differences and all - but you can get more done if you are calm and collected and not a blustering hothead. I don't know you and don't know if that description fits you or not - but it's just a suggestion. I know that most of the men in my family would just charge in and try to "fix" any given situation, oftentimes without even knowing all the facts.
Personally, I would be happy to know that my mother is safe and being taken care of by trained professionals. In May, or whenever you return, you can always change the living arrangements.
To simplify things for you, here is the link to the page on this site where you can search for an Elder Lawyer where your mom lives by zip code.or city and state.
https://www.agingcare.com/Elder-Law
Try to get into an information gathering mode before springing into action without the whole picture. Your mother is being cared for. You will return home in May.
There is still more information to gather as well as to process and you have the time to do that between now and when you get home. What is currently hazy will become clear and then you will see what all of her needs and your options for dealing with them are in a manner that will not throw either one of you under the bus so to speak.
She'll be ok and you'll be ok. It's just a very unnerving process to work through and develop a plan for.
Take care.
Something must have triggered them to have moved as quickly as they did to move her into a place where she would have 24/7 care. This may be only a temporary move to get her stabilized until other arrangements can be worked out.
How long have you been gone from the states? When did she last see her doctor and did the doctor say anything about her living by herself at home with only people visiting her as much as possible?
How recent did her blood sugar get out of control and the social worker have your mother placed in a facility? Is it difficult to reach you in your work with Socom? Did your friend tell the social worker that you are her son and are oversees with Socom in Afghanistan?
You can search for an elder law attorney form this site to find someone to contact. They need to be your contact person to find out the whole story, get back with you and create a plan as to what to do next until you return to the states.
There's really not a whole lot you can do while you're in Afghanistan. How much longer will you be there?
Adult protective services does have the authority to do that for elderly whom they perceive are at risk either because of self-neglect or the neglect of others not providing the level of care that the medical people perceive that they need at the time.
I don't know why the social worker did not contact you. Nor does it make sense that they told your friend not to intervene and threatened them with jail.
Is there a family member who lives in the area who has medical and durable POA for her that was overseeing her care while you are oversees? If so, it sounds like Adult Protective Services has overtaken those responsibilities.
If you are her POA, then there was no one there with the durable and medical authority to deal with that emergency and so in your being absent, they must of deemed in necessary to just step in and take over.
I don't know why all this went down like it did, but my gut reaction to this is there must be more information about this and to find that out will take hiring a lawyer.
Take care and keep in touch.
In your view, your mom has mental capacity, but for whatever reason, was not able to manage her diabetes on her own and not able ( or willing) to ask your friends for help. For right now, she's safe at least. Are friends and godmother visiting her? Being on site, they might be able to find out if there is a guardian involved.