My husband seems to be really struggling with his mom having dementia. She is so mean to him hitting him, spitting on him, throwing things at him and the cursing is unreal from her. He has to basically take care of her until I get home from work. She does go to adult daycare for a few hours each day but it is him and her after that til I get home. By the time I get home, he is so upset when I enter the house and sometimes I see her in action of hitting him or throwing things, I intervene. It upsets me to see him so upset. I try to talk to him and calm him down but it’s never easy. He is NOT abusive in any way but voices do tend to rise. He is only human and we both are trying to understand this disease. What can I do to calm him down? What can I say? Do? We have a social worker working hard to get her in a facility. This is what she really needs.
If the family asks for a 'Social Admit' in the ER, that will be documented. They cannot send the elder home, if the home will not accept them back.
They don't just put them in a cab if they behave because that makes the hospital liable.
My mom was playing dementia with me and I yelled unsafe discharge and they sent her home anyway, because she was gaslighting me and everything was actually fine.
However, if she was showtiming at the hospital, they would have sent her home because she was medically stable regarding the issues she was admitted for.
I asked for a geri-psych consultation and was informed that they don't do that.
Unfortunately, covid and the resulting lack of workers, many things are very different now. Doesn't hurt to try but, I recommend that we all are prepared for the new normal.
If this is not the case, sun-downing is a REAL problem that they go crazy at night. I kept my mom from sundowning by keeping her up all day (only allowing small naps) and she would sleep all night. I also walked my mom in the park which would calm her during the day. So mom was never on any kind of psychotropic. This worked for her, but it may not for your mother-in-law.
If you mom sleeps during the day that is your problem. She will have a LOT of energy at night and they go really crazy.