It seems that know matter what I do my Mother is not pleased. I have given up everything to take care of her. My husband just lost his job and things are very stressful. I can't get a job because I have to take care of her. My problem is that she is not satisfied with anything I do.
But either way, you're under terrible strain and I'm sorry for it. Hugs to you. Please post again?
It may be a medical opinion that she cannot live alone. She may "have" to live with someone. But it doesn't "have" to be you. She can get in-home help. She can live in a small residential care center. She could go to an assisted living place. Maybe she is a candidate for a nursing home, depending on her needs. There are other options.
I dwell on this because I think it makes a HUGE difference in our attitudes to recognize the truth. We do not HAVE to be caregivers to our parents. And if we decide we want to care for them, we can do it in a variety of settings, from their home to our home to a professional care setting.
Acknowledging that you made a choice does at least two things for you:
1) It allows you to take credit for a kind and noble and challenging decision
2) It makes it clear that you can make other choices as things change.
Is Mom's current behavior new? Has she ever been satisfied with what you do?
When you think about it, it must not be easy to be aging, and dealing with a broken hip and knee replacement... I would be very grumbly, too. I know it isn't fair to you.
As for the money issue, is your Mom helping you out money wise with expenses? If she notices that you and hubby are cutting back on expenses, such as talking about cutting cable, poof there would go some of her favorite shows unless she volunteered to help pay.
I hope one of you can get a job soon. I know it is stressful when you're worried about money.