The week has taken a toll on me and I think my siblings are beginning to see just how much I need a break.
Mom hasn't been sleeping well for weeks and we've been trying to fine tune her meds so she will sleep through the night but be awake during the day. Last week she didn't wake up for the hospice aide but we thought it was just a medication effect. At about 11:30 it dawned on me that maybe I should check Mom's glucose level - and it was 53! I called the nurse and we got her sugar back up after several hours, but I made the comment to 2 of my siblings that "falling sleep in a diabetic coma might not be a bad way to go." Does it sound like I'm trying to kill her off?
Anyway, I had mentioned to my brother the week previous that if Mom ever went out of hospice I might ask him to switch off caring for Mom. So, when her sugar went low, he and his wife volunteered to have her come "for a visit for a month or so."
Which brought up a hospice question. Mom doesn't have a doctor where my brother lives. IF they decide they want hospice (and I'm not sure they will, since they view it as passively waiting for someone to die), could they just call a hospice office and ask for a consultation or would they need a doctor's order?
Mom has been living with us since July of 2018. Her dementia has been getting worse. When she declined rapidly several months ago I asked for the doctor to order hospice. Since then she has had pressure ulcers that have come and gone, incontinence of stool and urine (off and on, but mostly on), trouble sleeping, has been confused, and now the blood sugar situation. My fear is that when my brother takes Mom home with them she will get better and everyone will think I was a terrible caregiver.
I have no medical training (sister is RN, SIL where she is going took nursing classes decades ago but still knows a lot) and I work at home so I'm balancing Mom and work. SIL doesn't work outside the home but has been called to be a missionary and has a servant's heart, so I feel she will have more time to spend "paying attention" to Mom and will be better able to balance her meds for dementia, sleep, and stool. I think I've done a fairly good job taking care of Mom, but I "know" I could have done more and maybe she wouldn't have declined so much.
When Daddy was in hospice we moved him from their home to ours without mom or dad knowing ahead of time. Mom was mad and was going to in with my brother without even saying bye to Daddy. My brother seemed very much against us (my 2 sisters and I) making the decision to move Daddy without his consent. Brother and wife have said they would tell Mom she is going for a visit. They have offered in the past and she has declined. When the time comes (next week) if she says she doesn't want to go, I won't make her, but they may do the same as my sisters and I did with daddy - just take her for her health and well being.
Any thoughts?
You have done the best that you could. If she gets better, hooray! Encourage them to keep her so that she can continue to get the undivided attention of someone that has training in caring for her.
You can't change what they are going to say or think, so don't even try. They could have stepped up sooner to help mom and take some of the weight off you, so they have no room to criticize since it was all on you.
Take the break and try to get rested up. What will be, will be. Don't fret about it.
Thank you for your answer.
Or she can go off Hospice and be readmitted to another Hospice. You really do not need a PCP the Hospice can evaluate and get the previous doctors information. You might want to fill out a Medical Record Transfer information form though jut to make it easier. Or get the copies of her medical record yourself.