So my 96 year old Mom has a new twist. She’s blaming me for everything. My sister doesn’t hear anything like I do. Her latest thing is I’m going to “put her down” like an animal. I want to be there for her and love her, but after the first few minutes of being with her, the misery sets in. She refuses meds saying we’re just trying to get rid of her. She insists the hospital didn’t try to save my Dad. She thinks doctors don’t care about old people and just get rid of them. She lost all her siblings and friends because the doctors didn’t take care of them. How am I supposed to get through this? I know it’s a paranoid dementia, but she doesn’t talk to my sister like this! How do I turn this off? Trying to change the subject doesn’t work. She saves up all her misery for me. Why only me??
My advice is simple. Either learn to tune her out (nearly impossible) or refuse to allow her to further damage your spirit. Her problems are unfixable since a new one is just on the horizon. It's a disease without cure...don't let it be a prison sentence for you.
Its hard, but keep telling urself its the disease.
When my mother gets TOO toxic, I just tell her I'm either leaving or hanging up the phone and will see/speak to her another time when she's in a better mood. Which is probably going to be on the 12th.
Of Never.
Good luck!