She fights us every time we try to do a shower or brush her teeth. She says that she doesn’t have to take a shower everyday but we only shower her 1 time a week. She has Dementia and Macular Degeneration (wet). She at times makes a mess of her hands wiping after using the restroom and can’t see it. Any suggestions to stop the fight would be awesome and appreciated. HELP !!
”Mean” talk from her is the product of a damaged brain. It does not reflect on what your mother thought about you or how much she loved you before her brain functioning began to deteriorate.
So with that out of the way, you will TELL HER (DO NOT ASK HER “IF SHE WANTS SOME HELP”. - She will say NO) that you will help her OR have someone come into her home to help her. If she is able to make a lucid choice this may work for a while.
There are medications that can be used to modify negative behavior, but living by herself, the risk of falls may increase if they are tried.
Remember- you may find that NO options are very good, in which case try to come up with something at least a little better than what she’s doing now.