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My sister who lives with her is also a smoker. How do I protect myself from second hand smoke My mother does not care anymore who is around her She says its her house and she will smoke if she wants to. Any help would be appreciated
The only way I know to avoid the secondhand smoke in someone else's house is not to be there. If your sister is there now, does your mother need an extra caregiver? Are you also living there or just visiting? If your mother is 90 and smokes, I think it is a bit late to try to change her. If she has to go into a nursing home, you may want to try the electronic cigarettes, since she won't be able to smoke there.
Visit Mom by telephone. Limit your in-person visits to short periods. Sit in the yard or on the porch. It is her house and she will smoke if she wants to, and she wants to.
She could get a HEPA air filter. I have one that really helps, but I don't know if it is specifically designed for smoke abatement. I don't allow any smoking at my house, in my car, and make nasty faces and move away if someone lights up elsewhere.
It's hard when it's your family though, but they are endangering your health as well as theirs.
If you tend toward the comical side, you could wear a full face respirator. But I've found it hard to breathe with them.
Short of wearing a mask with filter, I don't know what to say. If it's her house and she wants to smoke when you're around, I don't see many options. I would probably limit my visit and avoid inhaling the smoke as much as possible. Ask if you can open a window and sit near it. She may doubt there are health risks, since she's 90 years old.
Good heavens, I can't image what the inside of that house must smell like, and all the nicotine stains on the walls, ceilings, light fixtures, cabinets, carpets, toothbrushes, etc. But like you said, it's her house.
I would just limit my visits to a few minutes if you go inside, there just aren't any other choices.
JessieBelle, I remember back when people thought regular cigarettes were harmless. Well anyone who uses the e-cig are considered "guinea pigs" to see what is harmful in said product. At the moment, it's a myth that the e-cigs are safe, because no scientific studies have been made over a certain time period. E-cig will not help a smoker to quit, because the e-cig still contains nicotine, and the vapor contains a chemical similar to what is used in anti-freeze.
What is sad about serious illnesses/death from tobacco is that tobacco use is a *choice*.
Another alternative is to take your mother out for breakfast, lunch or dinner so you don't even have to go in the house, assuming of course that she's ambulatory.
Clairedelune I don't kow which state you live in but some do not allow smoking in public places so she is not likely to want to eat out if she can't smoke
She wouldn't be able to smoke, but they could at least have some visiting time together. However, if she can't be w/o cigs for that long, it wouldn't work. And she also might just light up in the car.
RE: Jessiebelle's answer. Pointing out the possibility of a nursing home and policies concerning smoking is a very important thing to consider. When my mom went to an ALF, she was told that smoking was only permitted in two areas outside the buildings. One was very near my mom's room, so there was no problem for awhile. As she became more comfortable and accepted by the owner, she thought she was above the rules and was caught smoking in her room several times. I was notified each time and talked to mom about the lovely place I was able to help her live in..and that she HAD to stop smoking in her room if she wanted to continue to live there. She claimed she wasn't doing it and made excuses. The owner had no choice. He could have been fined for not following codes or, worse case scenarios, shut down or have a fire! There were people there who were on oxygen. I received a call from the owner one day. He apologized for having to do it, but I was going to have to find my mom another place to live. I spent the entire day searching for what I considered an acceptable place. I ended up in the owner's office that afternoon crying and telling him we couldn't afford any of the places I had looked at and that it was breaking my heart to have to settle for any of the less expensive ones. He owned another facility near there for residents who needed more care and had more employees and supervision. He was kind enough to allow my mom to move to the other facility if we would pay for the extra services mom needed, with the understanding that there would be no more warnings if she was caught smoking in her room. He is one of the most compassionate people I know. Mom didn't smoke in her room. She ended up in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank on the back. After her death, some of the other residents told me she had begged them for cigarettes and had been hiding and smoking. Obviously, by then, she was not allowed to smoke at all. She had been endangering her life, the lives of the other residents and the staff, and the facility. I know smoking has to be a terrible addiction to overcome. It is such a selfish one, though. It involves everyone around the smoker as well as what it does to the air all living creatures on Earth have to breathe. Although it probably sounds as if I am being judgmental, I am not. I have never smoked, so I have no way of understanding how addictive it can be. I just want to let Clairedelune (and more importantly her mother) and others know what complications and stress smokers are setting up for their families. If they don't stop smoking for themselves, they should think of their families and possible circumstances. As an afterthought, my father died sixteen years before mom did. He had CODP and woke up one morning unable to breathe. After that episode, he quit smoking cold turkey. The cancer that eventually killed him, though, began with lung cancer. My heart goes out to smokers who are attempting to defeat their addiction as well as to the people who love them.
Clairdelune, first response "rock on baby! Going strong at 90. Woo-hoo!"
Sensible response, now: your mother must have the same consideration that a younger person, e.g. me, would expect to have for non-smokers. Rule is, you don't smoke in the presence of people who do not like it. You just don't. It is very bad manners.
As it happens, for health reasons I also don't smoke anywhere near my mother; although actually, never having smoked herself, she's never minded cigarettes. So in our house there are is two sitting rooms that don't smell 'smoky' (and one that does but I like it like that). Would something like that work at your mother's house? Is there a room that she and her sister can keep as a smoke-free zone for you and other visitors? - I'm sure you're not the only person they know who's uncomfortable with it.
But, in the end, true, it is her house and she can smoke if she wants to. If she wants to smoke *all the time* more than she wants to see her daughter it's a pretty poor state of affairs, is all I can say. In that case, you'll have to confine your visits to the summer months and sit out in the garden?
In reality, it is impossible to have a "smoke free room" in a home where there is a smoker.
If a smoker goes into that one room and never smokes, the residue from his/her clothing from smoking elsewhere will put the tobacco odor on the upholstered furniture.... even exhaling will put the odor into a room because one cannot clean their lungs which is filled with the residue.... the tobacco odor even comes through one's pores, and that will transfer to the furniture.
Plus if you have central heat, tobacco smoke will go through the furnace ducts into that *smoke free room*.
I can walk up to a front door of a house, and even before the door is opened, I can tell if a smoker lives there.
Your mom's not going to stop smoking at 90. Your sister MIGHT stop, if she has a health scare that frightens her enough. As for protecting yourself against second-hand smoke when you visit them, you can minimize the impact on your lungs by making your visits brief, sitting outside when the weather allows, or wearing a disposable face mask and carrying one of those little hand-held fans with you to blow the smoke in another direction. It's interesting to see how the attitude toward cigarette smoking has changed in your mother's lifetime, from it being considered sophisticated and sort-of healthy ("Have a Lucky instead of a sweet!") to cigarettes being part of the supplies that were issued to soldiers in WWII, when people smoked EVERYWHERE, even in grocery stores and hospitals, to when I was a teenager in the 1970s, and there was a separate smoking room in my high school that was set aside for students who had a note from their parents giving them permission to smoke, (teachers had their own "smoking lounge") to today, when cigarette smoking is frowned upon, and rightfully so. It must be very hard for people of your mother's age to change their habits, especially when those habits are physically addictive. I feel sorry for her.
if i had a nonsmoker living with me id install a simple bathroom fart fan in the wall beside my chair . they cost about 15 bucks and exhaling into the fan would prevent nearly all smoke from permeating the remainder of the room . i wouldnt want to offend a nonsmoker either but there remains the issue of it being my house . theres always a sensible compromise if people work on it a bit . secondhand smoke damage to nonsmokers has recently been downplayed a bit in the scientific community . it was overhyped by the govt the entire time they were sueing the tobacco companies for billions of dollars . why didnt they just call it a windfall tax and avoid all the lies ?
I wouldn't downplay the harmful effects of secondhand smoke, it still kills 42,000 people annually here in the U.S.
Second hand smoke has been linked to leukemia and brain tumors in children according to the American Cancer Society. In adults, second hand smoke has been linked to cancers of the larynx (voice box), pharynx (throat), nasal sinuses, brain, bladder, rectum, stomach, and breast in adults.
Although I can't cite the source now, I remember reading somewhere in the last few years that secondhand smoke does increase the risk of breast cancer, as FF wrote.
As an asthamtic who has coughing fits when in a room that *had* smoke in it, I could not visit a friend or relative in their home if they smoke.
We would have to meet somewhere I can have clean air to breathe, or there won't be much visiting. Just my body trying to cough my spleen up, unable to talk, and probably peeing my pants in the process. Good times!
Just FYI, the ingredients used in ecigs are a known entity that emits a harmless vapor. I know because I have made up my own vapor liquid and use at most 3 harmless ingredients, 2 if you don't use a flavoring. Ecigs may or may not contain nicotine. You purchase a descending amount to taper off, and I enjoy them with zero nicotine content because I like the flavors (banana, chocolate, strawberry, etc.) enjoy the "smoking" process, and it helps me not overeat. While they are not going to make anyone healthier (except for the potential to get someone off regular cigarettes - wow!) the worst thing they do is cause dry mouth. For the life of me, I can't understand why people who dislike actual smoking would try to put down something that other people may be using in a desperate attempt to quit an addiction. Oh, and making rude faces at people doesn't help at all.
Cricketfarms, when you get a chance read the article that is on WebMD, titled "E-Cigarette Vapor's Potentially Harmful Particles".
I am more apt to believe a medical website that gains no profit in the selling of the e-cigs, than from the company that will profit from the sale. Of course, those companies are going to say their product is safe. Tobacco companies were saying the same thing decades ago.
I'm not believing anything from any company - I make my own eliquid from FDA approved food grade ingredients. You believe whatever you want, but there is something there that can help people QUIT SMOKING. Why not be more supportive of that?
Natural does not equal safe. Things approved to go through your digestive tract shouldn't be assumed safe to go through your respiratory system. Two different systems in your body that work very differently. Inhaling something gets it into your blood stream and your brain much faster. That's why people snort cocaine crystals vs. eating the leaves. A bigger high faster. That's why I have to inhale Albuterol via a nebulizer for breathing emergencies vs. take a pill. The pill I have won't work in time to be effective quickly.
Having so much trouble breathing myself, I don't understand anybody who would knowingly put that in jeopardy.
Look, I will say it shortly. She is right, thats her house. Smoking has also advantages, because nicotine is very strange. It can make you relax, happy, stressed or no stressed and , of course, it also prevents Parkinsons, Dementia or Alzheimer.
Smoke smells to non-smokers, but smokers in fact smell nothing. So if you love your mum, let it be.
Smoking prevents dementia? My mom smoked 78 years. How come she has dementia?
Anyway, this is not about the dangers of smoking, the good vs the bad of electronic smoking devices, or even about filer systems.
Clairedelune's mom wants to smoke actual tobacco cigarettes in her home. Clairedelune does not wish to inhale second-hand smoke. The question is, what can Clairedelune do, without totally cutting herself off from her mom?
IT is not only factor who influences human health. But studies and researches show than in many cases nicotine prevents dementia etc. Not at all cases, I wrote it bad, my apologize. I only want to say that stopping smoking only becuse someone think it is harmfull is not needed.
Going in the street ond breathing gas from exhausts is much more dangerous to your health than secondary smoking. Bet on it. So if someone who I love is smoking, I will still keep visiting him/her.
TeamHomeHelp, I have also heard about nicotine slowing the pace of dementia, but it was in reference of just nicotine itself, not being used in smoking which contains a whole slue of dangerous chemicals that would override the nicotine.
It's not the nicotine that kills people, it's the smoke related chemicals that does.... no different than standing in a smoke filled building that is on fire.
TeamHomeHelp, you say that smoking relaxes a person, that true.... but it's not the cigarette that does that, it's the deep inhaling and exhaling that makes someone relax. One can get the same effect using an empty soda straw.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It's hard when it's your family though, but they are endangering your health as well as theirs.
If you tend toward the comical side, you could wear a full face respirator. But I've found it hard to breathe with them.
I would just limit my visits to a few minutes if you go inside, there just aren't any other choices.
JessieBelle, I remember back when people thought regular cigarettes were harmless. Well anyone who uses the e-cig are considered "guinea pigs" to see what is harmful in said product. At the moment, it's a myth that the e-cigs are safe, because no scientific studies have been made over a certain time period. E-cig will not help a smoker to quit, because the e-cig still contains nicotine, and the vapor contains a chemical similar to what is used in anti-freeze.
What is sad about serious illnesses/death from tobacco is that tobacco use is a *choice*.
I agree on the issue of e-cigs; they're not safe.
She wouldn't be able to smoke, but they could at least have some visiting time together. However, if she can't be w/o cigs for that long, it wouldn't work. And she also might just light up in the car.
Sensible response, now: your mother must have the same consideration that a younger person, e.g. me, would expect to have for non-smokers. Rule is, you don't smoke in the presence of people who do not like it. You just don't. It is very bad manners.
As it happens, for health reasons I also don't smoke anywhere near my mother; although actually, never having smoked herself, she's never minded cigarettes. So in our house there are is two sitting rooms that don't smell 'smoky' (and one that does but I like it like that). Would something like that work at your mother's house? Is there a room that she and her sister can keep as a smoke-free zone for you and other visitors? - I'm sure you're not the only person they know who's uncomfortable with it.
But, in the end, true, it is her house and she can smoke if she wants to. If she wants to smoke *all the time* more than she wants to see her daughter it's a pretty poor state of affairs, is all I can say. In that case, you'll have to confine your visits to the summer months and sit out in the garden?
If a smoker goes into that one room and never smokes, the residue from his/her clothing from smoking elsewhere will put the tobacco odor on the upholstered furniture.... even exhaling will put the odor into a room because one cannot clean their lungs which is filled with the residue.... the tobacco odor even comes through one's pores, and that will transfer to the furniture.
Plus if you have central heat, tobacco smoke will go through the furnace ducts into that *smoke free room*.
I can walk up to a front door of a house, and even before the door is opened, I can tell if a smoker lives there.
It's interesting to see how the attitude toward cigarette smoking has changed in your mother's lifetime, from it being considered sophisticated and sort-of healthy ("Have a Lucky instead of a sweet!") to cigarettes being part of the supplies that were issued to soldiers in WWII, when people smoked EVERYWHERE, even in grocery stores and hospitals, to when I was a teenager in the 1970s, and there was a separate smoking room in my high school that was set aside for students who had a note from their parents giving them permission to smoke, (teachers had their own "smoking lounge") to today, when cigarette smoking is frowned upon, and rightfully so.
It must be very hard for people of your mother's age to change their habits, especially when those habits are physically addictive. I feel sorry for her.
secondhand smoke damage to nonsmokers has recently been downplayed a bit in the scientific community . it was overhyped by the govt the entire time they were sueing the tobacco companies for billions of dollars . why didnt they just call it a windfall tax and avoid all the lies ?
Second hand smoke has been linked to leukemia and brain tumors in children according to the American Cancer Society. In adults, second hand smoke has been linked to cancers of the larynx (voice box), pharynx (throat), nasal sinuses, brain, bladder, rectum, stomach, and breast in adults.
Besides, smoke just STINKS!
We would have to meet somewhere I can have clean air to breathe, or there won't be much visiting. Just my body trying to cough my spleen up, unable to talk, and probably peeing my pants in the process. Good times!
"E-Cigarette Vapor's Potentially Harmful Particles".
I am more apt to believe a medical website that gains no profit in the selling of the e-cigs, than from the company that will profit from the sale. Of course, those companies are going to say their product is safe. Tobacco companies were saying the same thing decades ago.
Angel
Having so much trouble breathing myself, I don't understand anybody who would knowingly put that in jeopardy.
Please note, e-cigarettes have not been approved by the FDA as a smoking cessation aid.
Smoke smells to non-smokers, but smokers in fact smell nothing. So if you love your mum, let it be.
Anyway, this is not about the dangers of smoking, the good vs the bad of electronic smoking devices, or even about filer systems.
Clairedelune's mom wants to smoke actual tobacco cigarettes in her home. Clairedelune does not wish to inhale second-hand smoke. The question is, what can Clairedelune do, without totally cutting herself off from her mom?
It's not the nicotine that kills people, it's the smoke related chemicals that does.... no different than standing in a smoke filled building that is on fire.