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My sister who lives with her is also a smoker. How do I protect myself from second hand smoke My mother does not care anymore who is around her She says its her house and she will smoke if she wants to. Any help would be appreciated
If you are going to comment about the ingredients in cigs, please educate yourself first rather than spreading misinformation. Antifreeze contains ethylene glycol. The ingredient in ecigs is propylene glycol and is a component in asthma inhalers. You can quit cigarettes from ecigs. My husband and I both smoked tobacco cigarettes over forty years and managed to quit using ecigs. The nicotine level in them is what you choose and the idea is you begin to decrease that level over time until you can be down to 0% nicotine. The only other ingredients in vape are food grade glycerin and flavorings. Our doctors have told us it is thousands of times better for your health than tobacco. If this is a way a person can stop smoking tobacco, why on earth would people want to keep them from doing so? It is also more pleasant and healthy to be around than smoke when all it produces is a fragrant vapor. We tried gum, patches, etc. everything, and this is the only thing that has been helpful.
DaughterAut, take a step back and look at this and laugh.
Your family doesn't feel remotely guilty that they don't go and see your mother (oh, I forgot - only because they live too far away. Pity about that, or they'd be over every day, right?).
But they think you should feel guilty for objecting to spending time in a confined space with someone who smokes.
Uh-huh. They do, do they?
You're doing fine by your mother, relax. And, by the way, I can tell you that smokers get - oh, just - *tired* of being nagged. So don't go into her apartment, and tell her why if she asks, but don't yak on about it either. She can smoke if she pleases. You can not join in by going into her home if you please. Fair enough.
For me it is the guilt that my family puts on me for being "unkind" and a bad daughter by not wanting to go inside my Mom's. I am the only one who lives in town. She is 80. I do go out to breakfast, lunch and dinner or shopping. My mother though shows her resentment of me by sometimes giving me the cold shoulder. It hurts a lot. My sister smokes but is trying to quit. No one allows smoke in their homes, but they expect me to accommodate and visit my Mom at her very smokey small apartment.
At 90, she isn't about to quit. I can't stand to be in a room with a smoker so all I can say is what I would do if she were my mother in that situation. My inlaws smoked, and I couldn't stand to visit them. I would have to wash everything in my suitcase and shower and wash my hair, etc when I got home. Everything reeked, which I'm sure your mother's house does - with two smokers. I would only visit her if we could sit outside and take her to lunch where she can't smoke, and of course forbid smoking in my car. I understand and sympathize with those addicted to cigarettes, but the other side of it is the aversion us non-smokers have to being exposed to the disgusting smell and choking smoke that makes our eyes burn.
Nicotine is thought to have some protective effects on the brain, but no one has ever said it prevents dementia (or Parkinson's). Having an effect doesn't mean something is absolute. On down the road they may find that the effect noticed was wrong. Health science results swing back and forth like a pendulum.
TeamHomeHelp, you say that smoking relaxes a person, that true.... but it's not the cigarette that does that, it's the deep inhaling and exhaling that makes someone relax. One can get the same effect using an empty soda straw.
TeamHomeHelp, I have also heard about nicotine slowing the pace of dementia, but it was in reference of just nicotine itself, not being used in smoking which contains a whole slue of dangerous chemicals that would override the nicotine.
It's not the nicotine that kills people, it's the smoke related chemicals that does.... no different than standing in a smoke filled building that is on fire.
Going in the street ond breathing gas from exhausts is much more dangerous to your health than secondary smoking. Bet on it. So if someone who I love is smoking, I will still keep visiting him/her.
IT is not only factor who influences human health. But studies and researches show than in many cases nicotine prevents dementia etc. Not at all cases, I wrote it bad, my apologize. I only want to say that stopping smoking only becuse someone think it is harmfull is not needed.
Smoking prevents dementia? My mom smoked 78 years. How come she has dementia?
Anyway, this is not about the dangers of smoking, the good vs the bad of electronic smoking devices, or even about filer systems.
Clairedelune's mom wants to smoke actual tobacco cigarettes in her home. Clairedelune does not wish to inhale second-hand smoke. The question is, what can Clairedelune do, without totally cutting herself off from her mom?
Look, I will say it shortly. She is right, thats her house. Smoking has also advantages, because nicotine is very strange. It can make you relax, happy, stressed or no stressed and , of course, it also prevents Parkinsons, Dementia or Alzheimer.
Smoke smells to non-smokers, but smokers in fact smell nothing. So if you love your mum, let it be.
Natural does not equal safe. Things approved to go through your digestive tract shouldn't be assumed safe to go through your respiratory system. Two different systems in your body that work very differently. Inhaling something gets it into your blood stream and your brain much faster. That's why people snort cocaine crystals vs. eating the leaves. A bigger high faster. That's why I have to inhale Albuterol via a nebulizer for breathing emergencies vs. take a pill. The pill I have won't work in time to be effective quickly.
Having so much trouble breathing myself, I don't understand anybody who would knowingly put that in jeopardy.
I'm not believing anything from any company - I make my own eliquid from FDA approved food grade ingredients. You believe whatever you want, but there is something there that can help people QUIT SMOKING. Why not be more supportive of that?
Cricketfarms, when you get a chance read the article that is on WebMD, titled "E-Cigarette Vapor's Potentially Harmful Particles".
I am more apt to believe a medical website that gains no profit in the selling of the e-cigs, than from the company that will profit from the sale. Of course, those companies are going to say their product is safe. Tobacco companies were saying the same thing decades ago.
Just FYI, the ingredients used in ecigs are a known entity that emits a harmless vapor. I know because I have made up my own vapor liquid and use at most 3 harmless ingredients, 2 if you don't use a flavoring. Ecigs may or may not contain nicotine. You purchase a descending amount to taper off, and I enjoy them with zero nicotine content because I like the flavors (banana, chocolate, strawberry, etc.) enjoy the "smoking" process, and it helps me not overeat. While they are not going to make anyone healthier (except for the potential to get someone off regular cigarettes - wow!) the worst thing they do is cause dry mouth. For the life of me, I can't understand why people who dislike actual smoking would try to put down something that other people may be using in a desperate attempt to quit an addiction. Oh, and making rude faces at people doesn't help at all.
As an asthamtic who has coughing fits when in a room that *had* smoke in it, I could not visit a friend or relative in their home if they smoke.
We would have to meet somewhere I can have clean air to breathe, or there won't be much visiting. Just my body trying to cough my spleen up, unable to talk, and probably peeing my pants in the process. Good times!
Although I can't cite the source now, I remember reading somewhere in the last few years that secondhand smoke does increase the risk of breast cancer, as FF wrote.
I wouldn't downplay the harmful effects of secondhand smoke, it still kills 42,000 people annually here in the U.S.
Second hand smoke has been linked to leukemia and brain tumors in children according to the American Cancer Society. In adults, second hand smoke has been linked to cancers of the larynx (voice box), pharynx (throat), nasal sinuses, brain, bladder, rectum, stomach, and breast in adults.
if i had a nonsmoker living with me id install a simple bathroom fart fan in the wall beside my chair . they cost about 15 bucks and exhaling into the fan would prevent nearly all smoke from permeating the remainder of the room . i wouldnt want to offend a nonsmoker either but there remains the issue of it being my house . theres always a sensible compromise if people work on it a bit . secondhand smoke damage to nonsmokers has recently been downplayed a bit in the scientific community . it was overhyped by the govt the entire time they were sueing the tobacco companies for billions of dollars . why didnt they just call it a windfall tax and avoid all the lies ?
Your mom's not going to stop smoking at 90. Your sister MIGHT stop, if she has a health scare that frightens her enough. As for protecting yourself against second-hand smoke when you visit them, you can minimize the impact on your lungs by making your visits brief, sitting outside when the weather allows, or wearing a disposable face mask and carrying one of those little hand-held fans with you to blow the smoke in another direction. It's interesting to see how the attitude toward cigarette smoking has changed in your mother's lifetime, from it being considered sophisticated and sort-of healthy ("Have a Lucky instead of a sweet!") to cigarettes being part of the supplies that were issued to soldiers in WWII, when people smoked EVERYWHERE, even in grocery stores and hospitals, to when I was a teenager in the 1970s, and there was a separate smoking room in my high school that was set aside for students who had a note from their parents giving them permission to smoke, (teachers had their own "smoking lounge") to today, when cigarette smoking is frowned upon, and rightfully so. It must be very hard for people of your mother's age to change their habits, especially when those habits are physically addictive. I feel sorry for her.
In reality, it is impossible to have a "smoke free room" in a home where there is a smoker.
If a smoker goes into that one room and never smokes, the residue from his/her clothing from smoking elsewhere will put the tobacco odor on the upholstered furniture.... even exhaling will put the odor into a room because one cannot clean their lungs which is filled with the residue.... the tobacco odor even comes through one's pores, and that will transfer to the furniture.
Plus if you have central heat, tobacco smoke will go through the furnace ducts into that *smoke free room*.
I can walk up to a front door of a house, and even before the door is opened, I can tell if a smoker lives there.
Clairdelune, first response "rock on baby! Going strong at 90. Woo-hoo!"
Sensible response, now: your mother must have the same consideration that a younger person, e.g. me, would expect to have for non-smokers. Rule is, you don't smoke in the presence of people who do not like it. You just don't. It is very bad manners.
As it happens, for health reasons I also don't smoke anywhere near my mother; although actually, never having smoked herself, she's never minded cigarettes. So in our house there are is two sitting rooms that don't smell 'smoky' (and one that does but I like it like that). Would something like that work at your mother's house? Is there a room that she and her sister can keep as a smoke-free zone for you and other visitors? - I'm sure you're not the only person they know who's uncomfortable with it.
But, in the end, true, it is her house and she can smoke if she wants to. If she wants to smoke *all the time* more than she wants to see her daughter it's a pretty poor state of affairs, is all I can say. In that case, you'll have to confine your visits to the summer months and sit out in the garden?
RE: Jessiebelle's answer. Pointing out the possibility of a nursing home and policies concerning smoking is a very important thing to consider. When my mom went to an ALF, she was told that smoking was only permitted in two areas outside the buildings. One was very near my mom's room, so there was no problem for awhile. As she became more comfortable and accepted by the owner, she thought she was above the rules and was caught smoking in her room several times. I was notified each time and talked to mom about the lovely place I was able to help her live in..and that she HAD to stop smoking in her room if she wanted to continue to live there. She claimed she wasn't doing it and made excuses. The owner had no choice. He could have been fined for not following codes or, worse case scenarios, shut down or have a fire! There were people there who were on oxygen. I received a call from the owner one day. He apologized for having to do it, but I was going to have to find my mom another place to live. I spent the entire day searching for what I considered an acceptable place. I ended up in the owner's office that afternoon crying and telling him we couldn't afford any of the places I had looked at and that it was breaking my heart to have to settle for any of the less expensive ones. He owned another facility near there for residents who needed more care and had more employees and supervision. He was kind enough to allow my mom to move to the other facility if we would pay for the extra services mom needed, with the understanding that there would be no more warnings if she was caught smoking in her room. He is one of the most compassionate people I know. Mom didn't smoke in her room. She ended up in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank on the back. After her death, some of the other residents told me she had begged them for cigarettes and had been hiding and smoking. Obviously, by then, she was not allowed to smoke at all. She had been endangering her life, the lives of the other residents and the staff, and the facility. I know smoking has to be a terrible addiction to overcome. It is such a selfish one, though. It involves everyone around the smoker as well as what it does to the air all living creatures on Earth have to breathe. Although it probably sounds as if I am being judgmental, I am not. I have never smoked, so I have no way of understanding how addictive it can be. I just want to let Clairedelune (and more importantly her mother) and others know what complications and stress smokers are setting up for their families. If they don't stop smoking for themselves, they should think of their families and possible circumstances. As an afterthought, my father died sixteen years before mom did. He had CODP and woke up one morning unable to breathe. After that episode, he quit smoking cold turkey. The cancer that eventually killed him, though, began with lung cancer. My heart goes out to smokers who are attempting to defeat their addiction as well as to the people who love them.
She wouldn't be able to smoke, but they could at least have some visiting time together. However, if she can't be w/o cigs for that long, it wouldn't work. And she also might just light up in the car.
Clairedelune I don't kow which state you live in but some do not allow smoking in public places so she is not likely to want to eat out if she can't smoke
Another alternative is to take your mother out for breakfast, lunch or dinner so you don't even have to go in the house, assuming of course that she's ambulatory.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
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Your family doesn't feel remotely guilty that they don't go and see your mother (oh, I forgot - only because they live too far away. Pity about that, or they'd be over every day, right?).
But they think you should feel guilty for objecting to spending time in a confined space with someone who smokes.
Uh-huh. They do, do they?
You're doing fine by your mother, relax. And, by the way, I can tell you that smokers get - oh, just - *tired* of being nagged. So don't go into her apartment, and tell her why if she asks, but don't yak on about it either. She can smoke if she pleases. You can not join in by going into her home if you please. Fair enough.
It's not the nicotine that kills people, it's the smoke related chemicals that does.... no different than standing in a smoke filled building that is on fire.
Anyway, this is not about the dangers of smoking, the good vs the bad of electronic smoking devices, or even about filer systems.
Clairedelune's mom wants to smoke actual tobacco cigarettes in her home. Clairedelune does not wish to inhale second-hand smoke. The question is, what can Clairedelune do, without totally cutting herself off from her mom?
Smoke smells to non-smokers, but smokers in fact smell nothing. So if you love your mum, let it be.
Please note, e-cigarettes have not been approved by the FDA as a smoking cessation aid.
Having so much trouble breathing myself, I don't understand anybody who would knowingly put that in jeopardy.
Angel
"E-Cigarette Vapor's Potentially Harmful Particles".
I am more apt to believe a medical website that gains no profit in the selling of the e-cigs, than from the company that will profit from the sale. Of course, those companies are going to say their product is safe. Tobacco companies were saying the same thing decades ago.
We would have to meet somewhere I can have clean air to breathe, or there won't be much visiting. Just my body trying to cough my spleen up, unable to talk, and probably peeing my pants in the process. Good times!
Besides, smoke just STINKS!
Second hand smoke has been linked to leukemia and brain tumors in children according to the American Cancer Society. In adults, second hand smoke has been linked to cancers of the larynx (voice box), pharynx (throat), nasal sinuses, brain, bladder, rectum, stomach, and breast in adults.
secondhand smoke damage to nonsmokers has recently been downplayed a bit in the scientific community . it was overhyped by the govt the entire time they were sueing the tobacco companies for billions of dollars . why didnt they just call it a windfall tax and avoid all the lies ?
It's interesting to see how the attitude toward cigarette smoking has changed in your mother's lifetime, from it being considered sophisticated and sort-of healthy ("Have a Lucky instead of a sweet!") to cigarettes being part of the supplies that were issued to soldiers in WWII, when people smoked EVERYWHERE, even in grocery stores and hospitals, to when I was a teenager in the 1970s, and there was a separate smoking room in my high school that was set aside for students who had a note from their parents giving them permission to smoke, (teachers had their own "smoking lounge") to today, when cigarette smoking is frowned upon, and rightfully so.
It must be very hard for people of your mother's age to change their habits, especially when those habits are physically addictive. I feel sorry for her.
If a smoker goes into that one room and never smokes, the residue from his/her clothing from smoking elsewhere will put the tobacco odor on the upholstered furniture.... even exhaling will put the odor into a room because one cannot clean their lungs which is filled with the residue.... the tobacco odor even comes through one's pores, and that will transfer to the furniture.
Plus if you have central heat, tobacco smoke will go through the furnace ducts into that *smoke free room*.
I can walk up to a front door of a house, and even before the door is opened, I can tell if a smoker lives there.
Sensible response, now: your mother must have the same consideration that a younger person, e.g. me, would expect to have for non-smokers. Rule is, you don't smoke in the presence of people who do not like it. You just don't. It is very bad manners.
As it happens, for health reasons I also don't smoke anywhere near my mother; although actually, never having smoked herself, she's never minded cigarettes. So in our house there are is two sitting rooms that don't smell 'smoky' (and one that does but I like it like that). Would something like that work at your mother's house? Is there a room that she and her sister can keep as a smoke-free zone for you and other visitors? - I'm sure you're not the only person they know who's uncomfortable with it.
But, in the end, true, it is her house and she can smoke if she wants to. If she wants to smoke *all the time* more than she wants to see her daughter it's a pretty poor state of affairs, is all I can say. In that case, you'll have to confine your visits to the summer months and sit out in the garden?
She wouldn't be able to smoke, but they could at least have some visiting time together. However, if she can't be w/o cigs for that long, it wouldn't work. And she also might just light up in the car.
I agree on the issue of e-cigs; they're not safe.