He has congestive heart failure, chronic renal disease,(kidneys functioning at 21%) pacemaker, diabetes, and other. He has been having TIA's as well. He is also very unstable and falls frequently. Transitioning from bed, wheelchair, & potty are almost impossible. Changing into pajamas and clothes is almost impossible. He is 220 pounds, my mother is 120 pounds. Home health care has been called in but only offer very limited assistance. My sisters and I help as well but we work full time and live 30 minutes away. What other options are out there for my mother to receive help with caring for my dad? A friend of mine told me about Hospice and that there are different levels of Hospice care. My dad is not going to "get better" but he isn't necessarily going to die in 6 months or less either. Does it sound reasonable to get our doctor to refer my Dad to Hospice care? It's so hard to make the right decisions with all of this. My mother's goal is to keep him at home as long as she can....
I can understand her goal to keep him at home as long as she can. My step-dad wanted to see that my mother was cared for at home as long as it was possible, but it reached a point where it was not and his being in a wheel chair did not help the situation being safe either. I'm not sure that old people can always take care of old people.
Do you have medical POA for him? Even if you don't, you can still tell his doctor how you perceive things are at home. BTW, do you or one of your sisters have durable and/or medical POA for each of your parents? Once you get this immediate situation dealt with, I would try to get these other things in place if they are not already.
To keep Dad at home, Mom needs more help, especially with transfers and lifting tasks. It should be possible to arrange that, including getting some equipment in the home to assist.