People are telling me that even though she has memory problems, suggested it would be a danger for her to live alone and doesn't accept her AZ she should be able to live wherever she wants including at home and I'm holding her back. Sometimes I question whether the doctors know what they are talking about. The nurses at the nursing home tell me this stage doesn't last long, I'm just so confused what to believe!
She has the ability to walk into a doctors office and carry on a conversation and she seems fine. It use to drive me crazy because it made me look like I was crazy and had a mental issue not Mom! The thing is, if a doctor stays in the room long enough, they will see them begin to ask the same questions over and over again, slip ups do occur but it can take a little while. My Mom does this with the physical therapist as well, walking tall and straight for him and 5 minutes after he is gone she is in horrible pain and hunched over.
It sounds like your Mom has some friends who do care about her but they are not her child who is seeking the best care possible for her. If I were you I might ask the facility if they have information literature on the disease and I would tell Moms friends, that you are blessed by their concern, however medical testing has proven that your Mom does indeed have a medical condition/illness that means she can no longer live alone. You understand their concerns as she does seem to be lucid at times, however this is relatively short lived and she returns to a confused state, which would be detrimental to her health and welfare should she be left alone. I would give them the literature and ask them to read it and tell them to look it up on the internet or at the library and read about it if they would like to gain greater insight into her condition. Let them know you appreciate their concern but you are trying to obtain the help for your Mom that she needs.
This is a very hard time because you are just coming to grips with the disease yourself and at times you wonder if the doctor or you are correct in the diagnoses. You wonder if you are making the correct decisions, you wonder if your Mom is just "putting on" because she seems normal, Many of the things that happen can only really be noticed if you are living with that person and see what they do on a daily basis. The house gets messier, they forget what they were doing and begin something else, they forget medications or will overdose, they do not bathe or wash their hair, etc. They are all signs that something is wrong or changing.
Your Mom's friends mean well but they are not seeing the overall picture, they just want their friend back with them. You have to become knowledgeable in her disease and then seek the care she needs, no matter what others may say.
My mom is 90, diagnosed with dementia and early ALZ, she has same diagnosis by dr, neurologist, behavioral psychiatrist and spent 10 days in behavioral center -- and after all that, no one would direct that she be placed in memory care unit. She is still living independently and manages but just barely. We hired help and she fires. It's a. Constant struggle and she will not get better but can function for short periods. You are lucky she is already in a safe environment. Don't listen to anyone else. You've got her in a-safe place with good care and her mind and needs will only get worse so it's great that she is in good hands before something bad happens.
An adult "in her right mind" is entitled to make her own decisions about where to live, whether to take medicines, and all other personal matters. But a person diagnosed with dementia may not be in her right mind. As a vulnerable adult she needs someone else to look after her best interests and to protect her from bad decisions.
Has a doctor diagnosed dementia in your mother? Has a doctor or other medical professional declared that she needs 24 hour care?
The entire situation of a loved one having dementia but being lucid much of the time is very confusing for caregivers! I don't blame you for being frustrate.
Could you provide a little more information about your mother's situation?