Mom was just hospitalized for extreme lethargy. Tests revealed that her hemoglobin levels were very low and a stomach lining issue was revealed to be the culprit. She was treated and almost immediately her personality returned and she looked and sounded 10x better. After a few days she was discharged and sent to a short-term rehab facility to receive some therapy.
Now, despite no medical reason for it, she is claiming that she has "lost use of her legs" and refuses to even try to sit upright, even to eat. Today she even begged me to feed her, which I refused to do because there's no reason at all that she needs to be fed by someone else. When I try to raise her bed she carries on like it's torture even though it's a mere four or five inches.
I'm at my wit's end with this, as is everyone else. Again, there's no medical reason why she cannot sit up and at least try to move around, it appears that she just doesn't feel like it or fears the pain involved. I tried to explain that this will pass after some repeated movement (she was walking rather well just a few weeks ago and she hasn't suffered any sort of injury) but she just won't do it. I think she's totally blowing a real opportunity here and it's maddening to watch. I'm even beginning to become hesitant to visit her for long as I just can't stand to see her lying there like a lump trying to eat while lying down almost flat on her back.
Her mother died shortly after breaking her hip in a fall and I believe this is why she's totally terrified of moving. I've explained this to every single healthcare person she's worked with but it hasn't helped at all. I firmly believe she needs to be forced into a sitting position for a while just to prove to her it won't kill her but they either can't or won't do it, mainly because she wails in a total panic if anyone tries. I just can't get through to her and it's miserable. Anyone ever encounter a situation similar to this?
Since you say she has a prescription for anti anxiety med, I take it that her doctor thinks she needs it. Maybe a long acting med that stays in her system around the clock would make her more comfortable. Cymbalta did that for my loved one when she was healing from multiple fractures. It did wonders for her disposition and it got rid of the anxiety.
I'm not sure that withholding the anxiety meds they have on hand for her is a good idea. When suffering from anxiety, she's not likely to respond to tough love or anyone insisting that she get up or do therapy. Only when she's feeling calm and comfortable are you likely to see her improve. It's not the kind of thing you can force on her, IMO.
I've often wished I had had military service because it toughens people up. I've been wondering if I could handle caregiving easily more if I had that experience.
We all have different thresholds and it may be that for some people recovering from a devastating injury might just challenge them in ways that are more than they can handle.
She may benefit enormously from antidepressants. Please don't think of these or of antianxiety meds as sedatives. Her panic is a real response to her perception of reality.
I still would urge a careful examination of her hips and pelvis.
Your mom could be having some vascular issues due to her low hemoglobin as well. I told my mom I couldn't care for her unless she at least tried to help me by sitting up and walking. She has never fully recovered but she does walk with assistance, which made it possible to care for her at home. I advise you to be stern, sit her up and make her do as much to help herself as as she is able.
I will share a similar story that happened with my cousin. Back when she was running her own household, she stepped in a hole in the yard and fractured her foot. She had to wear a boot and keep weight off of it, but she was perfectly able to use her crutches or wheelchair, go to toilet, bathe, etc. The problem is that she refused. She insisted on wearing diapers and laying in bed. She resisted allowing the home assistance lady to bathe her, she resisted physical therapy, she would not allow me to change her sheets, etc. She said she was not able to get up or return to walking. She kept the boot on for way too long. I was alarmed and discussed it with her home health care team and they thought she was lazy and unmotivated. They thought tough love was in order.
Fast forward a year later and she was diagnosed with advanced dementia. That's what was causing her to have delusions about lots of things, including her ability to walk. I'm not saying that is what your mom has, but I would explore all possibilities.
What does the staff at the rehab center say about her "condition"? Guess they are just as baffled, too. It would be interesting if your Mom was placed back at the hospital to see if she gets better. And as Pam said above, get a second opinion.