My mom has a Lifeline alert necklace that signals the company when she has a fall. They are instructed to call me before automatically sending EMS. Many times, I have been able to run over and help her myself. There was a false alarm 15 months ago and another one this weekend. At this latest one, I was out of reach so they sent EMS. She is very angry over the intrusion and now refuses to wear her necklace. My siblings and I have all appealed to her as far as her safety, our peace of mind, etc. I wondered about warning her that I will call her every couple of hours all day to verify that she is okay. That or put her in a facility. She really is still okay living on her own (in my neighborhood) except for the fall risk. She is 89 and showing some early dementia. She suffers from depression and has gotten more and more irrational. She takes her frustrations out on me as well. I should mention that I found out we could put a second unit in her house to increase the likelihood that she will hear the company checking on her. The first (centrally located) unit is loud enough, but she can't hear it from her bedroom with the tv blaring. I am wondering if anyone has any other ideas.
If she thought the EMT's were intrusive, I could just imagine her answer to having around the clock caregivers. She will dig her heels in, as you are noticing. Sometimes, unfortunately, it takes a bad fall where she needs to go to the ER, then into rehab, and then you could move her to the next level of care.
I wouldn't call her every couple of hours, she would either find that also intrusive or she would get so use to it that she would lose track of time and start calling you 30 times a day if she didn't remember you just calling her 20 minutes ago. Dementia can be quite a challenge.
What else is she not thinking clearly about? Cooking? Letting strangers in? Sending money to charity? Dementia is progressive. Believe me, it's time to look at Assisted Living. Take her on tours.
I am sorry, but for her own safety, she needs 24/7 care. After my sister died, partially from the stress of caring for mother, we had to wait it out.
She fell, her aid (bath lady) called 911 and she was unable to live alone, from there. She is SO much better in the local NH. It is just unbelievable. She should have been there years ago. She is 96.