It's ALL she talks about. It's paid off, but now she won't even 'be quiet' (aka: shut up) long enough for me to even ask what other things she needs (like writing checks or getting her groceries - she says "there's no point since I'm being evicted.....then gets mad because I don't believe her and hangs up (eye roll goes here).
Cue: hollow laughter from 28,000 people (at a guess). Yes. It is maddening. No one will give you any arguments there.
What we're trying to explain is that there are specialist techniques for dealing with this kind of obsession that may be more effective than the ones you've tried so far. Give them a go.
I would read as much as possible about dementia and watch the link provided. The dementia patient is not being difficult on purpose. There brain is preventing them for behaving normally.
It could be that her problem is reversible, as mentioned upthread. Get her thyroid checked. I would explore that possibility, but keep in mind that it could be a symptom of an illness that you can't cure and one of the trademarks is difficult behavior. I would try to acclimate myself to getting on board with how to deal with her or make arrangements for someone else to step in. It sounds like you might be overly frustrated, which is understandable, but that isn't likely to work well in the long run.
It's pointless to argue with someone who has diminished capacity. If you are someone who makes it a point never to lie (my affliction), you will have to suck it up, and tell fibs compassionately.
Bless all..
Lois
It is so hard dealing with the negative. I hear "no" so much around here that I wish they would strike the word from the vocabulary. One thing I've learned, though, is my mother may say no, no, no to me, but yes to someone else. Do you have a brother or uncle who could encourage her to follow-up on her treatment for hyperthyroidism? Sometimes women will listen to men when they won't listen to other women.
Has anything happened to her family in the past or more recent present that might incite this anxiety and fear? Play Sherlock and see what you can find out through casual conversation. But do't upset her more than she already is.
Don't challenge her and invalidate her fear; address it as Maggie suggests and try to either work with her or find the underlying anxiety issues. Getting annoyed with her only makes her feel more isolated and fearful as if she can't talk to you and get support for her concern.
From the approach you have, I think it might benefit you to spend some time learning about dementia, perhaps even joining a support group if you can find one so you understand that the behavior which causes you to roll your eyes is NOT something the individual can control.
Remember, this same disease could strike you. Think how you'd want to be treated if you were in her position.
When my loved one, who has dementia, had a problem or WAS worried about something that I knew didn't exist, I would tell her that I just talked to the people in charge and straightened it out. All is solved. Crisis diverted. I hug her and say, "Let's celebrate!' She believes me and is so relieved. Of course, she forgets this and I may have to do it again later.
If your mom has dementia and that is what is causing this delusion, then have her evaluated, of course, but ask about medications that can prevent the anxiety. When my loved one is not on Cymbalta, she is very nervous, worried and agitated. She thinks terrible things are happening. She can't even describe what they are. However, the Cymbalta takes that away and she is much more content and stress free. It's amazing.
So, after she gets diagnosed, I would ask her doctor about it. This medication is helpful, even if you don't have dementia.
In the first few months after getting the work done, she called the company repeatedly to come fix things. I finally took the card and any vestige of the phone number away from her, so she can't contact them. I didn't want our problem with her dementia to become theirs.
Dementia is strange like this. When an idea gets in their head, it can get stuck. Everything else may be forgotten, but the obsession remains. I imagine that your mother probably has some logic about the thought of being evicted. It would seem totally illogical to us, but she may be obsessing on this to explain a feeling of unease she is feeling. The only thing I can think to do is tell your mother something along the line, "We've taken care of things and you're not being evicted, Mom. Don't worry." Repeat it each time she talks about her obsession. Comfort may work.
I know that there comes a point with dementia very often that a person does end up losing their home when they go into memory care. It is such a sad disease.
"Wow, mom! When did you find out? Do you know how this happened?" Insert any conversational variance here. And then...."Try not to worry, mom. I'm always here for you. Let me see what I can do to head this off. I'll make some calls."
In other words, it may help you be able to move on with your conversation if you ACCEPT what she's saying and offer reassurance.
Now. The bigger question is how are you preparing to handle your mom's deteriorating mental health?
How old is she?
What are her diagnoses?
How far away does she live? Apartment, private house, independent living, assisted living?
Can you get her tested for a uti?
Has she been seen by a geriatric psychiatrist?
Has she been diagnosed with dementia?
You will get really good answers if you give us more background. As an overarching comment, you sound like me, always in a rush (I'm a New Yorker, it's who we are). Slow down with mom. "What makes you think that?" has gotten me some good answers to statements like "I'm being evicted", "there's a union taking over", "the place was sold last night".