3 or panties pads and depends but is not incontinent. Stage Alz is moderate severe stage 6. Wants to go 24/7 but won't associate with the other residents. She is challenged with the phone as well but it's phone not her she picks at her back and has sores we put meds on but she will go scrub it off because it will get on her clothes but won't let it dry as we ask She is insistent she can get her own place and get a car so she can run around sleeps in straight back chair will NOT sleep in the bed.
NH and it is beautiful and locally owned but suddenly becomes part of a national chain check it out again to make sure the previous standards are maintained. Take photographs and start a folder and unless there is a sudden change in Mom's health and needs don't worry about it for another six months. It is being faced with decisions in the heat of the moment and being pressured that leads to things you may later regret. make sure you know what mom's wishes are and what you personally can cope with. yes you may have to do the "dirty work" yourself but having the right "equipment" will make it so much easier.
My mother is in a secure dementia unit now. She is immobile and has low scores on cognitive evaluations. According to her, sometimes she is age 3 and her grandfather is paying for her to be in "this great big house". Sometimes she is aware of the present time. Other times she sees dogs & cats running around that aren't there. The truth does not matter.
What matters is that she is calm, protected, and her finances are safely handled.
At this point YOU need to take the lead and make the decisions. She cannot.
The question I keep in mind is safety and quality of life. Last year she fell 2x's when a caregiver was with her. This year she had no falls at all and enjoys walking her dogs etc...
She baths, dresses etc.... all herself. She cries as it isn't as easy as it once way but when she is confused she knows to call me and talks about it. I don't want to go to 24/7 yet. It would destroy her emotionally and it becomes a question of quality of life. As of today her quality is good considering she has dementia.
I think people have to be careful not to box individuals with dementia into a category and put them away to be totally safe. Then medicated them etc.....
Nothing is every 100% safe. We do our best and take it one step, one day, one minute at a time.