Hello, so I am 18 years old and my sister is 19 years old we take care of our 71yo mom (grandma adopted us). She had open heart surgery in March, and after the surgery she had a stroke. It paralyzed her right side, so she is bed ridden. She always is very very confused. She doesn't understand most things we are saying, and she also doesn't know us at times. She has 2 daughters (both atleast 50) and neither help us. They say we owe this to her for her adopting us. We can't go to college, nor can I work. I'm here with her 24/7, and my sister works 8-2:30 Sunday-Thursday. All my mom does is cry, and she always puts up a fight when we change her briefs. Any advice on what to do? I hate to see her suffer like this, and I'd hate to put her somewhere but it's hard for me to handle... She also has dementia
There are so many options out there for your grandmother. Talk to her doctor. Call your local agency on aging (human resources department) to request a social worker to do a needs assessment. You are exceptional granddaughters, but this is totally unfair to you.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/18-year-old-taking-care-of-mom-191401.htm
Grandma need to be in a nursing home, she needs a level of care that is unrealistic for you to provide. She is only 71, I know that seems a great age to you but trust me, she could conceivably live 5, 10, 20 years this way. My mom was 90 when I moved in to help her, anticipating her death at any day. 5 years farther on she is still here, and I am stuck in a limbo land.
Gather what resources you can to understand the legal and financial steps you need to take to get grandma the care she needs and to get yourself launched in your own life. ((hugs))