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Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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What's the living situation with your mother. How long has she lived with you, how did she come to live with you, what are her finances, what do you have to do for her, did you give up a job to take care of her, etc.?
Where does your brother live? Do you have other siblings?
Michelle, your mother is only 76 and may live another 20 years. Behavior like this will ruin a large chunk of your own life. Stop putting up with it! Mother needs to leave. If there is no other choice, start checking out Medicaid. Talk to your own doctor about the stress on you. If you can’t talk WITH her doctor because of privacy, you can still give her doctor details about her behavior, her murder threats, and your own need to have back your house and your life.
Michelle - I think you should contact her doctor and tell him/her about the sundowning and threats/accusations. My mom went through a stage where she accused people of taking and stealing her things and she was extremely unpleasant to be around. That stage passed eventually. But in your mom's case, you said she was like that all your adult life, probably worse now with dementia. Hopefully, her doc can prescribe some calming med that can subdue her behavior to a tolerable level.
I copied and pasted what you wrote in another thread so that others can have some background on your situation.
"Wow, seems I'm not the only one with a mom like mine. Sorry for us all, but less lonely knowing I'm not the only one. My mom's cat got tangled in a child's soccer goal net earlier today and my brother had to get it freed. Mom said my dog came in and scared it trying to kill it. My dog was in my room with me and neither she, nor my brother's dog barked. Since then, likely due to mom's freaking out, her cat has been in hiding, probably behind the armoire in her room or the one in the livingroom where she feels safe and gets in through openings in the back. Fast forward about 7 hours (sundowning), mom's been hunting throughout the house for said cat. I went in her room to check on her (no good deed) and she starts yelling that her cat is dead, but nowhere in sight, and my dog killed it, so now she's informing me that she is going to kill my dog and me. What joy. I hate to even joke, but sometimes I wish she would so it could just end. Me, not my dog. Not sure I can take much more of her slowly killing me with the venom she's spewed toward me my entire adult life"
Wow! How advanced is her dementia? Do you think it's a credible threat or just the rantings of someone with dementia? Sounds like she could benefit from some additional meds.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
She sounds like a nasty abuser, IMO, a must miss.
Explore all your option for her.
What's the living situation with your mother. How long has she lived with you, how did she come to live with you, what are her finances, what do you have to do for her, did you give up a job to take care of her, etc.?
Where does your brother live? Do you have other siblings?
I copied and pasted what you wrote in another thread so that others can have some background on your situation.
"Wow, seems I'm not the only one with a mom like mine. Sorry for us all, but less lonely knowing I'm not the only one. My mom's cat got tangled in a child's soccer goal net earlier today and my brother had to get it freed. Mom said my dog came in and scared it trying to kill it. My dog was in my room with me and neither she, nor my brother's dog barked. Since then, likely due to mom's freaking out, her cat has been in hiding, probably behind the armoire in her room or the one in the livingroom where she feels safe and gets in through openings in the back. Fast forward about 7 hours (sundowning), mom's been hunting throughout the house for said cat. I went in her room to check on her (no good deed) and she starts yelling that her cat is dead, but nowhere in sight, and my dog killed it, so now she's informing me that she is going to kill my dog and me. What joy. I hate to even joke, but sometimes I wish she would so it could just end. Me, not my dog. Not sure I can take much more of her slowly killing me with the venom she's spewed toward me my entire adult life"