My mom has been out of her house for a year. She is very confused and can't make a decision. I asked her permission to start packing up her stuff and possibly move towards selling house. She still thinks she will be home someday. She can’t come home to live for she is safer where she is. We been having this same conversation for a long time. I don’t want to feel guilty and just start packing up stuff anyways. I need peace and guidance on what to do. I’m very saddened by it all the house has been part of the family for over 50 years. I understand why she doesn’t want to let it go. But I feel its time because the house sits empty with no one living there.
The best thing is to sell the house if no family member wants to live there.
When I was a volunteer many times there were residents determined to leave the seniors home and go home. Many times there would be hard core arguments with the staff.
I would just talk with them about the house as if they were a child still living there and gently guide them back to their room. It is best to have family photo's there and we would talk about the old days. They would forget about going home.
Do not attempt to use reason and logic because they cannot understand it. Go back in time with them where they feel comfortable and show them a photo and ask questions about it.
1 - Empty home of valuables and store in secure location - no matter whatever else you do. These items are what would be considered part of your mother's estate when she dies.
2 - Rent out home either empty or furnished. If renting as furnished, do not expect that others will "cherish" the furnishings like your mom does. Maybe a family member needs a place to stay and this could work for your mother and for them.
3 - Divide up furnishings according to whomever mom what things to go to... or as others want items.
4 - Sell furnishings on Craiglist or eBay.
5 - Sell home to a company that does estimates and quick sales or through a realtor.
6 - Wait. Your state may require the court to appoint a legal guardian to deal with your mother's assets. Make sure the home is in good repair and that it is cleaned regularly.