Our mom has been in a dementia care facility for 3 weeks. She's 89. She landed there after a stint overnight in an ER and then two weeks in a geropsychiatric unit after she stopped eating, had her neighbors in a tizzy, and called the police several times. She has a long history of mental illness but she's always been pretty functional, but now she's at an age and state where she needs a more help was not willing to accept this untl she was backed into a corner. Anyway, at the geropyschiatric hospital they diagnosed her with moderate to severe dementia and told us to find a dementia care place. She's been diagnosed with moderate to severe dementia. The place we found for her is nice, and small and homey. However, most of the residents are quiet and compliant, whereas our mom is manipulative, childish, sneaky, and smart and demands to get her way. She is upsetting the balance of the place and now they are suggesting that she leave because "she seems so unhappy here." We really don't want to move her as we don't know that any other place would be better and the moving is very tough on her. How do we approach this situation? Are there better environments for difficult people like her?
No doubt they did an assessment on your mom before she moved in there and agreed to the terms and conditions. Now they are backing out. It seems common these days. The wicked are being rewarded and there is little accountability.
You and I may be forced to find other arrangements. I pray for us.
I don't remember exactly what kind of psychiatric care place emjo23's mother is in, but she could give you some extra insight and support. Her mother has a personality disorder and has been very difficult to deal with. Here's the web address to emjo23's wall. You may want to contact her about your situation as well.
Do you think the staff would listen if you shared with them that your mom does not need anymore spoiling and that is in fact contributing to things getting worse? I like the idea of "mom if you don't _____________, then we are left with not other option than to move you to a psychiatric nursing home. She needs to know what is expected of her, that current behavior is not acceptable anymore, and if she does not do those things, her location and caregiving situation will change.
https://www.agingcare.com/Members/emjo23
It also sounds like she's spoiled and used to people letting her get her way which means enabling her controlling behavior. That needs to stop.
Sounds like some boundaries are needed with some concrete consequences.
If she doesn't straighten up, then she may end up being a prime candidate for a psychiatric nursing home.
Good luck!