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mom(95+) living in AL, thinks people are coming in her room and stealing stuff. she hides everything and then I have to spend hrs looking for the important stuff. she has lost 5 hearing aids in the last 5 months. Just replaced 2 3 days ago, and now they are missing. I even attached a chain between them, so they would be larger to find and harder to lose. Her dimentia is getting noticably worse. Had the dr put her on anti-anxiety meds a few weeks ago. hoping to alay her fears of someone coming in her room. then she apparently was staying up at nite and hiding everything. she accumulates lots of stuff and I need to get rid of most of it. I think maybe all the clutter is over whelming for her and she does not know where to begin. My SIL(her mom has dimentia also) and she feels I need to remove lots of stuff while she is maybe away at my brothers. I thought I could try with her there and us going thru stuff and me taking stuff to "store" at my house! any ideas here?

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Sorry I couldn't help you solutions. Just can relate to your deli mas. blou
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Oh, yeah. If I throw things away--Dad digs it back out of the garbage like he just found a treasure! Way too much time is wasted, to say the least! blou
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This is driving me crazy! I cannot go to work on time because Dad jumps into the bathroom (only one) when he hears me up. Yesterday he hid or discarded my son & my toothbrushes. Then, he takes my car keys. I spend time looking for things I'll never find. It is making me a big fat loser! The house is falling apart & when I am fixing something (or about to), he gets in the middle of everything & ends up hiding a tool or supply I need. Then, he tells me "we" can't do this or that until we "blah, blah, blah, first". He talks & talks & uses up most of the day w/ useless drivel. I don't want to be rude to my dad, as I respect him, but, come on! I get a chance to do little bits if I rush, rush, rush when he leaves for a few minutes--while he gets into something else I have to fix. The hiding of things has made life totally unproductive for me. I rarely get a sense of accomplishment any more. I am as dysfunctional as he, although I don't want to become this way. I know better. So, why is it I have become more like him in spite of knowing better?
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oops sorry for spelling as I am using my phone
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My dad for several months now takes a roll of toilet paper. When mom was still living he would hide under his side of the bed. Now at my house I find it in plain sight in his bedroom or its in his nightstand. He doesnt do this every night but a couple days a week. Ican get up during the night if he is in bathroom and ge tucksunder his shirt.
He usually doesnt do with with anything else for now.
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It;s like having a teenager trying to hide the stash...LOL Dad puts stuff in MOM's drawers!! Only problem there is that is one set of car keys are.. were.. Of course now he probably wont recognise the keys.. Thank Goodness!
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It's called "Squirrelling".. *

*Not the Urban Dictionary definition.... LOL
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My solution was:
Do not dust regularly. Dust is your friend. It often provides clues to movement of articles.If she has dusted ask yourself why.If she hasn't there may still be prints of when she/he stashed the goody.
A daily search of known areas of concealment.If mom went to bathroom I did a search,if I came in to chat with her, my eyes scanned the area as I took mental notes of items moved; half opened drawers or closet door.
Rearrangement of items in drawers.
Socks, folded undergarments and bras are often a chosen area to conceal everything from hearing aids to candy.
This is often done at night while you sleep or after you pass out.
Throw nothing away without a search.Tissues or napkins in garbage (often contain dentures)
Never overlook searching under cushions,inside pillow shams and pockets (especially those of hanging garments).
All of these suggestions can be accomplished without detection! One has to be observant,stealthy and have perfected a slight of hand that allows detraction while searching right before the eyes of your audience!
Personally, all joking aside, I found all drugs increased or instigated her paranoia, anxiety, BM, stomach trouble etc.
I might suggest working on your one liners or comedy routine.Nothing assuages fear and anger like a good laugh.Sometimes I wear funny hats or my hubby's shoes to serve meals etc. Mom laughs and we're all happy.
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thanks for your comments. helps me make my decisions easier. Pam, she is not really under nursing care, she is considered independent living at the AL. may have to increase her care level.she does her own laundry, dressing showering and everything else. tomorrow during bingo, I will go in her room and remove some of the clutter. She did a lot of these things before her new meds, but losing brand new hearing aids sent me over the edge today.
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Terry, share the changes in behavior with the head nurse and see if there are other odd behaviors. These should be documented and shared with the MD who can adjust medications. Sometimes an SSRI antidepressant can trigger mania and other options should be considered.
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we can agree on the decluttering, dusty. i think its hard on ones mind to view thousands of items in one frame . makes ya wonde if people arent driving themselves nuts with just too much stuff -- says the guy with two trikes, lol ..
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My mother is in memory care and she does the same thing...has been for over a year. She did it when she was still living at home. This is part of the disease. The caregivers in memory care take my mom's hearing aids from her at night and recharge them over night then give them back to her in the morning. My mom constantly moves things and rearranges her room daily to hide things even though her room and bath are private and she has a locking door with a key.

Yes, I would go through her belongings and get rid of stuff. We did with our mom, she got upset with us for doing it too but she had items in her dresser she did not need. Do it while she is at your brothers or have a caregiver take her for a walk so you can come in and do it then.

Even after you do it, she will continue to hide things. My mom had so much stuff she hid in the master bedroom at her house, she was always losing things but I let her look for it herself and she always found it within a day or two. If your mom is a natural organizer like my mom, she will always be rearranging and organizing her space.
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