Mom is in a nursing home and has been since Sept 2013. She is on Medicaid and Medicare, the NH receives her full Social Security check. 2 months ago the nurse calls me and tells me Mom's formulary has changed and one of her Meds is no longer covered and it will be an 'out of pocket ' expense..... my pocket at $149.00 per month for 30 pills for 30 days. I've been getting the meds on my own from the pharmacy and delivering them to the NH every month. Saturday the NH calls me to say she is out of meds again, it's only been two weeks since I delivered the last 30 pills. I questioned them and they said they would investigate, I drove the 70 mile round trip to the pharmacy and they gave me 5 pills until the heart doctor could re-new her prescription. Today is Monday and the NH again calls me to say Mom is out of medicine. Then they told me the NH doctor upped the dosage to two a day, I called the NH doctor and ask him if he upped the dosage to 2 a day he said no he did not and ask how many months has she been running short on this med I told him this is the first month. This is a heart medication that her heart doctor prescribed to her long before she went into the nursing home. So I called the heart doctor to verify the correct dosage, it is one per day. The heart doctor did not up the dosage and has requested that she be brought in for an appointment since it has been a year that he has seen her and she needs to be seen every 3 months. The NH doesn't want to take her because she is difficult to handle and they want only the NH doctor to handle her care. The NH doctor told me he goes by what the heart specialist advises and follows his recommendations on Mom's treatment. The Nh doctor only sees Mom every 2 months. Obviously Mom is not receiving the proper care since for the last nearly 3 weeks now has been overdosed daily on her heart meds. Also one of her ($5000.00 per pair) hearing aids is missing the the other one they left in her ear when they washed her hair so now it doesn't work either, I have had to buy her batteries for the hearing aids since she was taken inot the NH. I called the place where I got her hearing aids and ask if they could replace them, they told me not without a new hearing test. I truly don't know that Mom would understand taking a hearing test at this stage of her Dementia. They lost all her clothes except for what she had on and she ended up wearing those for several days before I realized all her clothing was gone. For two days I, myself, had to go through every patients closet in the NH to locate Mom's clothes. I never did find all of them. I ended up having to go buy her $300.00 worth of clothes, underwear and shoes and night gowns and house robes... Everything!! I pay for her to have cable TV in her room and bought her a TV.... the original remote went missing and now the new replacemnet remote is missing.. I've had to replace 2 pessery rings, this is a prescription item also, to the tune of $120.00 each and now her glasses are missing as well. One of the male patients comes into her room at night time and tries to kiss her, she is scared to even go to sleep. Yes I have told the NH administrator and he laughs it all off saying he'll look into it yet nothing is never done. What can I do??? I have to work and I can't leave her alone in my house while I work, I do not make enough money to hire somebody to stay with her while I work. I am so scared and so worried about Mom. PLEASE somebody advise me. What options do I have, this is the only NH for a 50 mile radius of my home and I'm not so sure any of those would be any better. I am all she has there is nobody else to help me at home with her. I feel like because she has Dementia she is a second class citizen, she worked her whole entire life and to be treated this way just rips my heart out and I can't do a d*mn thing about it. Pleas God help me help her.
Then, go to your local department of aging or elder services (you can google these) and get a caseworker to sit down with, and go over all these transgressions with them. The part about your mom being scared to sleep b/c of the kissing neighbor and the NH not taking the complaint very seriously is unacceptable. I'm sure that once you do this, you will start to see some improvements. The important thing here, is to record everything in writing and take pics w/ your cell phone, when you visit.. anything and everything. You need to provide evidence and a trail, and once you report this NH & the staff & administrator's ineptitude, the Dept. of Ageing or Elder Services should look into it.
Unfortunately, certain things going missing is probably not going to be a huge deal to them... my mom has early stage dementia, is in an excellent Assisted Living facility, and unless we write her name on everything (sheets, towels, underwear, etc.), things do go missing or get mixed up in the laundry. I think it's the nature of the beast. We don't keep anything of value in mom's room. Being the nearest one to her (20 min. drive), I keep all her ID cards, etc. and bring them, anytime she needs them. We took care of most of her financial & business needs by having someone pay all her bills, so she really doesn't need any cards or money anyway, except for pocket money when she goes on group outings. Anything of value, mom either gave away before she entered her Assisted Living or has them at my place.
Best of luck to you. It's a horrific & emotional ordeal what you're going through, but your best ammunition will be to be calm, record everything and then file a complaint with the proper channel.