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Staff escorts him out, but he returns immediately. Also, the roommate threatened me & Mom. The director says we have the issue and should pay for a private room or wait for another suite availability. What can we do?
This is an absurd situation.. I would not stand for it...You said the staff escorts him out and he returns immediately...If he sat on a chair, rather than lying on the bed, it would be bad enough. If he stays past visiting hours that would be an additional no no.
I would go to the administrator first, not after going through channels. This is a "raise hell" issue.
Your mother has a right not to be threatened. I agree with Glad; research to find out which agency is in charge of licensing and contact them.
Also: DOCUMENT, everything...threats, times when the guy is laying there on the bed. Might not be a bad idea to take photos if you can do so discreetly as you wouldn't want either of the two lovebirds to take out their anger on your mother.
I also would go beyond the director of the Memory Unit, all the way up to the nursing home administrator.
Is the male friend another resident? Do they do anything that third parties might find offensive. If security escorted him out and he immediately returned clearly the Memory care unit does not find it acceptable. Perhaps it is time for the police to be called especially because you and Mom have been threatened. Mom or her room mate should be moved. It is inappropriate to ask Mom to pay for a single room. Maybe it is the room mate who should do that
Clarifications/Updates Re: Safety & Privacy from Roommate's Male Friend in Memory Care. The roommate's male friend is also in Memory Care & resides across the hall. He is constantly in the roommate's bed or in her easy chair directly in front of the shared bathroom which has a heavy, difficult to close pocket door that stays open. Mom has no privacy when toileting or dressing. Also, the roommate has been escorted from the gentleman's bed during the night. I don't know what they do in bed. Both are married to other people which adds another layer of possible danger for Mom. Because of so much support from this forum, I have continued to document and e mail so now the director has said he is pursuing solutions other than a private room for Mom. Council on Aging Ombudsman and DHH Inspectors are scheduling visits after my formal complaint. The RN inspector said that if the director doesn't understand now, he will after her visit. Thanks for the support.
I am a little curious about what the man and the roommate do in the bed. Are they cuddling? Are they performing sexual acts? Does he use the bed because the roommate is in the chair and there is no where else to sit? What exactly is it that is bothering your Mom--does she not like him or does she just think it is improper or does she just not like having a visitor in the room all the time? Until this is resolved can you or the staff get your mom out of the room more often and into activities so that she is distracted from it? The more we know about your mom's objections the easier it might be to brainstorm around a solution.
What state department licenses this place? Department of Health? Once yoy find out file a complaint. The facility should have a document readily available for you to read of past problems and issues there.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Good luck,
Carol
I would go to the administrator first, not after going through channels. This is a "raise hell" issue.
Grace + Peace,
Bob
Also: DOCUMENT, everything...threats, times when the guy is laying there on the bed. Might not be a bad idea to take photos if you can do so discreetly as you wouldn't want either of the two lovebirds to take out their anger on your mother.
I also would go beyond the director of the Memory Unit, all the way up to the nursing home administrator.
Good luck with your efforts.
Do they do anything that third parties might find offensive.
If security escorted him out and he immediately returned clearly the Memory care unit does not find it acceptable.
Perhaps it is time for the police to be called especially because you and Mom have been threatened.
Mom or her room mate should be moved.
It is inappropriate to ask Mom to pay for a single room. Maybe it is the room mate who should do that
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