She remembers very clearly being “Raped” by the doctor. She wrote the doctor and gets more and more upset that they have not replied. My sister was in the room and is very sure this did not happen. My mother said it was extremely painful and was yelling for him to stop. At one point she was talking about legal action. I am at my wits end.
Having been a nurse for 39 years, I've seen my share of old ladies needing vaginal or urinary exams. I can say for a fact that, if you put an elderly woman up in stirrups without panties, she will think you have violated her. God forbid if you have to put in a vaginal speculum! In her mind, she has been raped.
I don't believe that very old women were keen on getting Pap smears and the like. "That place" was reserved for her husband, then the obstetrician when the babies came.
Most likely a woman suffered with prolapses and other female organ problems because she didn't want to go "show her genitals".
You can try to explain that sister was with her and the doctor did not do that, but, if she's confused, you're not going to change her mind.
Try diverting the subject when it comes up.
Often there's also a female nurse or M.A. in the room also-just so these sort of things DON'T happen.
Good luck.
My point is that I realized then that over the years as her dementia was taking hold, she had developed an abject fear of men. She became obsessed with sex. She would go on and on during visits about how her facility was actually a brothel and everyone was having relations with absolutely everyone else. This was a complete and total manifestation of her dementia. I’ve often said that so many family skeletons fell out of the closet as my mom babbled on in her demented state, I did NOT want to know why she had become obsessed with sex.
Mom didn’t like to be touched. We have lots of posts here about the elderly who don’t want to take their clothes off and get in the shower or be bed bathed by a home health care worker. Keep a close ear on Mom’s conversations. Maybe there’s a pattern here. There was in my mom’s case.
It could be that your mother's 'very slight confusion' is far more advanced than you realized. Perhaps you and your sister could meet with the doctor or his office manager and discuss the situation. A trip to a geriatric psychologist maybe needed as well.