I am sure my mother in Law has Alzheimer's as I recognize the stages as I have been through some of this before with my mothers husband the problem is I am not sure how to get her diagnosed. She is here at my house for a week to give one of my husbands sisters a break but she keeps wanting to go home and she tries to wander and walk away but her home is 250 miles away. She is very forgetful to the point where she is nervous and panicky I talk with her and we talk about her children and she sometimes calms down but there are times she looks at me and says I have no Idea who these people are you are talking about.
My daughter is 9 and there are times she asks who is this or who's child is this it scares me. Now my mother in law has always been a little flighty but this is different. I also think that the person she has moved into her house is stealing from her and is mentally abusive to her but none of her children are willing to make him leave. He is a creepy guy and is only 47 and she is 70 almost 71. I am afraid to let her go back to her home I don't know what to do.
My husband agrees with me but without a POA or a Guardianship is there anything we can do to help her and get this creepy man out of her house? and help her realize she cant live there anymore and get her the help I know she needs.
What is the username of the responder you said is absolutely correct, and did you give them a "helpful answer" click?
The elder abuse hotline in Washington state is 1-866-EndHarm.
Call them right away and get the process started.
You and your family don't need to be afraid of this creep, you need to get the steel you need in this kind of thing into your backbone, call the cops if you have to, tell THEM what's up, and that you want him freaking out like yesterday and then see what happens. He can NOT stay on your property if you don't want him there, especially with your suspicions. Get him out. Now. I'd call SS, too, they might be able to help with your MIL, too, at least be able to give you some information. I would talk to a cop. Seriously. Tell them what's up, see what they think. Call the non emergency number. Has a background check been done on this guy? Maybe you should check into something like that to start...
I wish you all the best in this, you're doing the right thing, imo. Always listen to your instincts. Always. **hugs**
Have you or your husband spoken with the sister you are relieving and asked questions and pointed out that her behavior is exactly like a person with Alzheimer's and pointed out that you have dealt with this before? Maybe this sister is aware of the problem and the diagnosis but she either did not want to tell you for fear you would not take Mom in or maybe she is hiding her head in the sand and ignoring it. Some people chose to ignore what is happening because if they know for sure there is a problem, they have to deal with it....and they don't want to.
As far as the creepy guy goes if the family is afraid to tell him to get out then what makes you think this woman would be able to get him out? He does need to be gone if you have any "feeling" that he is stealing or abusing her. I would call a Sheriff or Lawyer, whomever it takes and have his tush tossed out of her house. You may have to tell him that Mom is ill and you are considering moving her and therefore selling the house so he has "x number of days" to find a new place to move to, you should probably be at the house removing anything of value at that very second however or it may be gone when you return. You could have Adult Protective Services go in there for checks and see what they say possibly. Nonetheless there is a mental issue happening here that is not normal for your mother-in-law that needs to be addressed immediately. She is sick and in need of help.
I would seek the help of an Elder Care Attorney as well because if she does have Alzherimer's you cannot get her to assign her POA to anyone, it is too late. You would then have to find out about guardianship.
I bet you will find out that your husbands sister is fully aware that there is a problem and it is not the usually flighty behavior. I think she has passed Mom and her problems over to you to handle.
God Bless you all this sounds like a difficult situation.