She can still walk, lives in her own home (we are in her driveway in our RV, along with a baby monitor). I spend most of my day caring for her, doing all housework, laundry, shopping, driving, etc. Time with my husband is usually in the early am before she is up, or late evening after she's in bed. We are seriously burnout, and not sure what to do.
You might have her assessed to determine what level of care she needs. While she may only want you and hubby to care for her, that might not be the best option. Her reasoning may not be the best either.
With her medical conditions, limitations and age, a facility that could support her on all that and administer her medications might be a good thing. If she likes to socialize, it would be great for that too. I would see if her doctor could offer any opinion on her strength and endurance. It's a tough situation.
You certainly could use some help doing all the things you are doing. Why not look into resources that might help her. Would she be private pay or medicaid? You might check with your local council on aging and see what they can suggest. Some states have home care assistants that come to the home and help. I would see if she qualities and what it would entail, even if it's only a few days a week. Respite care may be available.
Without knowing more about her condition, I'm know sure what you might expect from her health wise, but at 99 years old, I would expect the unexpected.
How long have you been camped out in her driveway? I imagine that if you are like many of us here, you never imagined this is how you would spend your golden years. It sounds like you and hubby need to bring in some respite so you can get that RV on the road for a while. If nothing else, hiring a housekeeper seems like a good idea so you could enjoy some time together during the day.
Living life in a room or an RV is not my idea of living, but I don't have any answers. We can get out, but can need to call in help before we do. It's not fair to one person to shoulder all the burden alone.
As for being seriously burned out, that is something you can do something about, I hope. You need some time away! If MIL needs 24 hour supervision, someone else needs to provide it while you and hubby take that RV on the road.
Other than age, what are her infirmities?
How old is your husband? How old are you? How long have you been camped in her driveway? Are there other family members involved?
What is her financial status? Can she afford to pay for housekeeping, laundry service, prepared meals?
I'm sorry for all the questions but having more background will enable us to give you more specific suggestions.