Moved my Mom closer to me in nursing home after Dad's death. It is a good place. My husb. and I had plans to retire in another state . That time is here and we need to let her know we will not be seeing her as often. I am fearful she will feel abandoned. We plan on seeing her once a month or so and possibly "Skyping" We also may hire a companion to see her one time per week. There are not other family members close by. Her sisters have mentioned moving her back closer to them...but I am fearful that one more "move" may set her back greatly.
If that meets your needs, welcome!
I'll probably be cyberstoned for this suggestion, but could you compromise or postpone your retirement plans to move to accommodate your mother's needs, or could you make plans to travel frequently through an area that would allow you to continue to visit?
I can't help thinking how lonely I would feel in this situation, and that's most certainly not to guilt trip you or your husband.
Or another alternative might be to decrease the frequency of your current visits to once monthly, not mention the planned move, and continue to see her monthly once you're retiring and traveling. Then the issue of the move wouldn't be such an issue.
If you think you will definitely be able to visit once a month I would gradually phase out your visits down to monthly before you leave and see if she notices, if she accepts that I think you will be home free. Once you get to your new location research the laws in your new State by visiting an elder care lawyer and find out how difficult it would be legally. if it's doable then research places in your new location where you feel she will be comfortable and well cared for and move her.
Best Wishes for your retirement.
In another post you explain she has been kicked out of one nursing home for her behavior and you are afraid she is headed that direction again.
I say, go ahead with your retirement plans.
If there is time to taper off your visits, that might be good preparation.
Have you discussed the possibility of skyping with the staff there? Would they be willing to help her with that on a regular schedule?
Way nobody will have anything to do with her. I know her family is small but having a nursing home that provides excellent care and we can trust is critical... I found out that she has been kicked out of a couple other nursing home before I was in the picture.
.
See All Answers