Hello everyone. Thank you for listening. My 100 year old grandmother is living in assisted living in Texas, and my 76 year old mother is her caregiver. My gran has outlived her savings, and my mother is retired, and scraping by. As a result my wonderful husband has taken on the $4,000 bill for my gran's assisted living facility. My gran is not a US citizen (she is a permanent resident), so she doesn't qualify for any medical benefits. We've been paying cash for everything. It has depleted everyone's savings.
My mom just called to tell me that my gran lost her dentures. I think she put them in a napkin and they got thrown out. I'm guessing it's going to cost thousands to replace them. I honestly don't know what to do! I can't ask my husband to pay for it. My mom lives on social security. Even if we replace them, will she throw them out again? I can't stand the idea of her sitting around toothless, so my question is, what would you do?
FYI - there is no other family who will help. My uncle and his kids will not contribute.
Thanks in advance!
Ha ha - I can see that. I remember when my mom had her appendix out, and she had this handsome ER doctor - she said "please don't let him see me without my teeth!"
Mom's 90. I'm her primary caregiver (64), and have been living in her house for 5 years. About 4-5 years ago I broached the concept of hearing aids. We had zero communication due to her deafness, and what little there was involved me having to 'shout' while being within a short distance to her face, so she could also see my face. I rarely if ever could do that without sounding annoyed (if not downright frustrated/mad, heaven forgive me). She began to soften up on looking into hearing aids (my 2 sisters, me, sons-in-law, bridge players conspiring to bring it up as often as possible as the cool thing to do).
Sorry, I digressed : ( To your question, though: In past 2 yrs., mom has markedly declined mentally and physically. We've had to set up a caretaker 6 hrs. a day/5 days a week, for her physical safety, and allow me time to manage the household [shopping, hired help for the house and property]. FINANCES is THE driving force at this point--so the hearing aid issue has become moot.
Hearing aids would also involve a number of thousands of $$--like your grandmother's denture issue. I've been practicing letting go of guilt when it comes down to difficult and imperfect choices on their behalf.
You and your family are doing the good work. Please know that.
That $4K that your (very!) wonderful husband is picking up... That's not a one-off figure, is it? $4,000 x how often for how long, any idea?
Your grandmother surely must have some income from somewhere, some residual benefits from wherever she lived and paid taxes all her life?
Sadly, my grandmother used to be quite a wealthy woman, but when we moved her to the USA 20 years ago, her currency devalued, and then she had numerous hospital visits for falls and pneumonia, and that tore through her life savings at an alarming rate. No one expects many people to live beyond 100 years, but here we are, approaching 101!