The cardiologist says it's not her heart. She had lung cancer a few years ago but they got it all and there has been no reoccurrence. She does have shortness of breath, however. She has lead a sedentary life and feels that walking in the halls of her senior facility is enough exercise although she tires after 20 feet. I wonder if she just isn't active enough and hence, always tired. She also eats a lot of sweets and is 30-40 pounds over weight.
Any thoughts ....
I do my level best not to ‘complain continually’. It would make me feel worse and make life worse for DH, who is as helpful as he can be. My suggestion would be to agree to the ‘tired’ and tell her that the ‘complain’ is getting very old – even older than she is. You think through nice things to talk about when you visit. Why shouldn’t she do the same?
At 85, it's not uncommon to enjoy sweets & to be overweight. To try to force a lifestyle change at her age can be virtually impossible. I'd get her to the PCP to see what's going on with her lungs; that should be your first course of action in my opinion.
Good luck!