My mom lives with my husband and I. She has been rapidly declining over the past two months cognitively. Her hallucinations have been increasing over the last 5 days and are almost constant. I can’t get her to just sit and nap. She is always trying to “go somewhere” or find the “people” (mostly children) in our house.
We have made our house as safe as possible, but she won’t use her walker and fell yesterday. There were no neurological issues from the fall so the Expresscare doctor did not send her to the ER.
I have to watch her every minute, because she will fall. She seems to be in mental anguish over all the hallucinations.
What are our options?
My 3 sisters are not close by, but are very involved. We don’t want her in a nursing home.
You may not want her in managed care, but you may also burn out to the point you have no other choice. My mother had a very positive experience in Memory Care Assisted Living and they cared for her beautifully there. I was able to be her daughter instead of her exhausted and resentful caregiver and visit her with treats and clothing all the time. Memory Care is not some house of horrors but a lovely environment where the elder is cared for by the whole village.
Best of luck to you and mom.
You may have to adjust your thinking. You’re already worn out from watching her every minute. Her hallucinations are disturbing to you and your household. They’re also disturbing to her.
Many caregivers declare that they’re never going to “put” mom or pop in a nursing home. That’s before they find out why skilled nursing facilities are necessary. I believe you’re finding that out right now.
I wish you luck on this caregiving journey, but be ready to change your mind. Professional 24/7 care for mom may be the best choice for her.
Why are you resistant to putting her in a memory care facility where she would be safer?
I would say either take her to the ER today or her primary doctor tomorrow.
Personally I would not wait . I would go to the ER , your mother is suffering . You said yourself she is in mental anguish . Even though she was at the doc two weeks ago, things can change .
It could be possible she needs a med to calm her down . And you may need to hire some help using Moms money to come into the home to give you a break .
we have been to the ER many times for different things and my mom is very resistant, but I will see what I can do.
Also, she's 91. At 91, our brains are pretty dried out (literally) and we just don't function as well as we did. I'm only 67 but so surprised every morning when I can't bounce out of bed. Takes a minute!
A judicious dose of an antianxiety med that calms her but doesn't make her dizzy (adding to the fall risk) might help her to settle down.
Nothing you can do about the walker. So many folks simply will NOT use one. And that is kind of a self-fulfilling solution. They don't want to fall, but refuse the walker, which would give them more independence.
My MIL is also a non-walker wanderer. She's begun falling quite a bit, but she never gets hurt (amazing, I know). Sometimes she shoves a kitchen chair around for balance. I don't reccommend that.
What does her doctor say?
Does your mother have a diagnosis of dementia ?
Is this behavior a sudden change ? Has she been checked for a UTI , or had blood work drawn ?
A sudden change can be indicative of a UTI , or other problems .
What has the doctor said ?
Is she on any new medications ?
More information would be helpful for us to give you suggestions .