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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Sounds like perhaps the onset of some sort of dementia, as like 97yroldmom said, an unsteady gait is often one of the first signs of dementia, as it was with my husband who was later diagnosed with vascular dementia. You may want to have her evaluated by her neurologist. In your profile you say that your mother lives in Independent Living, but it may now be time to place her in an Assisted Living facility, as it sounds like she's requiring more care. You also say how mean she is, and that she won't let you get her groceries. I would just now tell her that from now on you will be ordering her groceries online(which she can help you pick out online)as it's just getting to be too much for you and her, and if she doesn't like it---oh well, then I guess she just won't eat. You're probably going to have to put your foot down on this, since it's affecting you in a negative way. Instead if she wants to occasionally get out and about, you can offer to take her for a "Sunday" drive every now and again, just so she can get a change of scenery. Best wishes.
Dementia can affect the gait. That was my DH aunts primary symptom for years, an unsteady gait. She used a cane for a long time, then a walker and now a rollator but barely. Mostly she is bed bound now. Has your mom seen a neurologist?
Ask her primary doctor to order her a home health evaluation and physical therapy. Does your mom set up her own pill planner? The nurse will do that for her, check her vitals weekly and they can provide a CNA to help her with her bath. Medicare will provide home health for the homebound. She sounds like she would qualify if she has original Medicare. If she wants to remain living “independently”. it’s an assist to keep an eye on her health and a start in getting her accustomed to having help outside of yourself. DH aunt had HH for years and now she is on hospice with them. Without them, she would have been in a facility long ago. A facility might be what she and you would prefer. What are her plans for her “old age”? 🤫
I hate to say limit her activities, especially if going to the grocery is her only activity out of the house. With COVID I would think her spending excessive time in a grocery store is not a good idea for her or you. You sound very tired of dealing with the situation. I’m sorry. Is there anyone who can help you? Do you have siblings who might take a turn taking her to the grocery? My mom was not a shopper and neither am I but others have written on the forum of how annoying it could be to take an elder to the grocery. I would not have the patience. You are not alone. Big hugs.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In your profile you say that your mother lives in Independent Living, but it may now be time to place her in an Assisted Living facility, as it sounds like she's requiring more care. You also say how mean she is, and that she won't let you get her groceries. I would just now tell her that from now on you will be ordering her groceries online(which she can help you pick out online)as it's just getting to be too much for you and her, and if she doesn't like it---oh well, then I guess she just won't eat. You're probably going to have to put your foot down on this, since it's affecting you in a negative way.
Instead if she wants to occasionally get out and about, you can offer to take her for a "Sunday" drive every now and again, just so she can get a change of scenery. Best wishes.
Ask her primary doctor to order her a home health evaluation and physical therapy. Does your mom set up her own pill planner? The nurse will do that for her, check her vitals weekly and they can provide a CNA to help her with her bath. Medicare will provide home health for the homebound. She sounds like she would qualify if she has original Medicare. If she wants to remain living “independently”. it’s an assist to keep an eye on her health and a start in getting her accustomed to having help outside of yourself. DH aunt had HH for years and now she is on hospice with them. Without them, she would have been in a facility long ago. A facility might be what she and you would prefer. What are her plans for her “old age”? 🤫
I hate to say limit her activities, especially if going to the grocery is her only activity out of the house. With COVID I would think her spending excessive time in a grocery store is not a good idea for her or you. You sound very tired of dealing with the situation. I’m sorry. Is there anyone who can help you? Do you have siblings who might take a turn taking her to the grocery? My mom was not a shopper and neither am I but others have written on the forum of how annoying it could be to take an elder to the grocery. I would not have the patience. You are not alone. Big hugs.
Your profile say Mom is in Independent Living. If so, she needs to live independently, not have you doing everything for her.
If she requires as much as assistance as you claim IL is inadequate for her needs. She needs to be in AL.