He, my much older brother by 10 years lives beyond his means. Everything he has at this point is because he convinced her, my mother, to sign for him. However, he cant pay for payments. I have moved my family into her home to take care of her and this continues. I am elated I can do this for her, love her to pieces, but she is beyond enabling him to say the least. She agrees when we speak, but forgets the following mornings. I'm beside myself. I don't want her money, but to see her pay his bills makes me sick. Found myself in a ranting fit tonight, and now I'm so embarrassed and mortified with my anger. I cannot stand to see my mother taken advantage of. This son has not been in contact for months after I finally pushed him to move out of her home so I can adequately take care of her myself ..... much more but if I continue no one wants to read so much drama. I'm desperate on here for some help.
Do you have DPOA for Mother? Will she allow you to handle her finances?
Do you have a caregiver agreement in writing with your mother? You are doing X and she is giving you Y in exchange? Even if Y = free rent, I'd get it in writing. Your brother sounds like the type to cause trouble if he can.
What is your mother's financial situation? Will her income and assets last her the rest of her life? Is she in any risk of needing Medicaid down the road? For example, if as her dementia progresses it is beyond you to care for her in her house, how long could she pay for a nursing home? (Let's hope this doesn't happen. But it could.)
What is Brother's situation? Why can't he hold a job? Does he have any physical or mental impairments? When you insisted that he move, where did he go? How does your mother feel about his moving out?
What was the ranting fit about tonight? Brother isn't in contact ... or did he make contact again?
I appreciate that you don't want to burden us with a long drama, but a few more details would help us make relevant comments.