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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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You are right to recognize that she needs support and counseling. She's used to her husband being healthy and now she's looking at him having this awful disease. She should learn all she can about Parkinson's, online www.pdf.org is good and so is Mayo clinic's site. She may want to consider the Well Spouse Association at www.wellspouse.org and she could call the Alzheimer's organization, if there isn't a Parkinson's one in town, to see if there is a support group.
Some one on one counseling with any good therapist may help her through it, too. She shouldn't feel this is a weakness. They are looking at a long battle. Good luck. Carol
I totally empathize with your situation and that of your parents. My mother has fast-progressing, advanced Parkinson's Disease (diagnosed only three years ago), and my father is her primary caregiver. I visit regularly and see what PD is not only doing to my mother but also my father. The following are some of my recommendations in addition to those that Carol provided to you above:
* Encourage your mother to attend a local PD support group, which can be found via the web site of the National Parkinson's Foundation at http://www.parkinson.org/Page.aspx?pid=237 or by doing a Google search. Most meet monthly for a couple of hours and consist of a presentation and Q&A on PD-related topics, followed by meet-and-greets to mingle with other people with PD as well as caregivers, etc. My father and I have found the few that each of us has attended so far (in different cities) to be very helpful.
* Ask other family members and/or parental friends to visit and spend time with your father so that your mother has some much-needed time to herself, whether she needs that time to take a long shower, a walk, meet with a friend(s) for lunch, run errands, etc.
* Contact an in-home health care service provider or hire a nurse's aid/helper privately (each will cost ca. $10 - 20 per hour). Services provided vary and can usually be negotiated, depending on one's needs (e.g., help with showering, making the bed, making lunch, reading outloud, playing cards, taking the person with PD to a doctor's appointment, etc). By word of mouth, too, you can receive referrals, as we just did the other day through a friend of my parents whose neighbor has PD and who has a "sitter" come to the house every day for one to two hours to help out with some of the activities I've described above.
I have found that the biggest hurdle is to convince one's caregiver parent (i.e., your mother / my father) to accept outside help, be it for themselves or for their spouse with PD. My father has been doing it all alone except for those days when I am visiting. At some point, it just becomes too much for the caregiving spouse, physically, mentally, and emotionally. When they finally accept that they can't do it alone anymore, it's good to then have various options to discuss with your parents and to determine what sort of help they need from a practical perspective and, also, with what they personally feel comfortable.
I hope my input gives you something to work with and wish you and your parents all the best with finding the support to help your mother -- and perhaps you, too -- on this journey. Keep in mind that, at some point, your mother, like my father, can't do it alone anymore and that we, as their adult children, need to help the caregiving parent, too, so they don't burn out. If the caregiver(s) burn out, we're no good to the ill parent who depends so very much on us. It's in their interest and ours that we stay physically and emotionally healthy, and such health requires outside help of some sort at some point in time. There is no shame in admitting the need for assistance. Best wishes to you and your family!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Some one on one counseling with any good therapist may help her through it, too. She shouldn't feel this is a weakness. They are looking at a long battle. Good luck.
Carol
I totally empathize with your situation and that of your parents. My mother has fast-progressing, advanced Parkinson's Disease (diagnosed only three years ago), and my father is her primary caregiver. I visit regularly and see what PD is not only doing to my mother but also my father. The following are some of my recommendations in addition to those that Carol provided to you above:
* Encourage your mother to attend a local PD support group, which can be found via the web site of the National Parkinson's Foundation at http://www.parkinson.org/Page.aspx?pid=237 or by doing a Google search. Most meet monthly for a couple of hours and consist of a presentation and Q&A on PD-related topics, followed by meet-and-greets to mingle with other people with PD as well as caregivers, etc. My father and I have found the few that each of us has attended so far (in different cities) to be very helpful.
* Ask other family members and/or parental friends to visit and spend time with your father so that your mother has some much-needed time to herself, whether she needs that time to take a long shower, a walk, meet with a friend(s) for lunch, run errands, etc.
* Contact an in-home health care service provider or hire a nurse's aid/helper privately (each will cost ca. $10 - 20 per hour). Services provided vary and can usually be negotiated, depending on one's needs (e.g., help with showering, making the bed, making lunch, reading outloud, playing cards, taking the person with PD to a doctor's appointment, etc). By word of mouth, too, you can receive referrals, as we just did the other day through a friend of my parents whose neighbor has PD and who has a "sitter" come to the house every day for one to two hours to help out with some of the activities I've described above.
I have found that the biggest hurdle is to convince one's caregiver parent (i.e., your mother / my father) to accept outside help, be it for themselves or for their spouse with PD. My father has been doing it all alone except for those days when I am visiting. At some point, it just becomes too much for the caregiving spouse, physically, mentally, and emotionally. When they finally accept that they can't do it alone anymore, it's good to then have various options to discuss with your parents and to determine what sort of help they need from a practical perspective and, also, with what they personally feel comfortable.
I hope my input gives you something to work with and wish you and your parents all the best with finding the support to help your mother -- and perhaps you, too -- on this journey. Keep in mind that, at some point, your mother, like my father, can't do it alone anymore and that we, as their adult children, need to help the caregiving parent, too, so they don't burn out. If the caregiver(s) burn out, we're no good to the ill parent who depends so very much on us. It's in their interest and ours that we stay physically and emotionally healthy, and such health requires outside help of some sort at some point in time. There is no shame in admitting the need for assistance. Best wishes to you and your family!