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My dad is 77 and has dementia with paranoia. He can't sleep at night, but is high function. He is currently at a geriatric psych short term facility. He went in because he was very agitated and wanted to leave the home. Vascular dementia. He is refusing to take meds, so many, but when I see him in the am and PM he takes them from me. He wants to age at home, with all services. I want him home. What must I do?

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When your loved one doesn't take their meds without your presence it is a sure sign they don't trust the staff giving them their meds, and rightly so.
My Mom is young, only 67 and trying to recover from a stroke. I placed her in her 2nd nursing home for rehab and go there every single day, asking about her meds, did she get physical therapy, can she have a shower, etc. You have to stay on top of the staff and keep coming because they will neglect your loved one if you don't. And especially the meds part - we got them to discontinue certain drugs mis-prescribed to my mother as a result. Keep asking questions and look up the medicines for their side effects.
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WOW! Tiredcaregiver you have proven what my brother-in-law says over and over about care facilities and how those that have family in regularly vs those who don't. Those who do get the best care! Sad and Angering. They also give patients who have an 'attitude' sleeping meds. Crazy isn't it!
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Once other things, my mother in facilities has refused certain medications at times b/c she knew her meds and they were either giving her the wrong medications or the medications, being generic were different shapes, colors. That might be why he will take them from you. Believe it or not, many times I caught nurses in nursing home/rehab giving my mother the wrong medications (or medications which had been stopped). In one case, they were giving her meds intended for the roommate. in other cases, the nursing home dr, just adding or increasing meds on without advising her and giving her choice to decide to take, which, after taking her out of the facility to her own doctor, she did not need to take. They still do have some rights in these facilities and family members should monitor always what is going on. I can't tell you how many times I sat in rooms and listened to patients protest they weren't getting their meds or correct meds and were just disregarded by staff, when familiy memembers were not actively involved. One lady was being heavily over medicated. When he daughter did come, I suggested she review the meds b/c psych meds do have stronger effect in elderly When she questions, they stopped the meds and switched to less potent options.
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Make it clear to him you want to help him stay at home but he must take his medications b/c he has an illness that he can't fix on his own aned if he doesn't take them, he will end up sick again and back in the hospital. Sometimes it is better not to talk to them about mental illness b/c for that generation, it is a shame. Tell him his body is not making certain chemicals he needs to keep from becoming sick and he needs to take pills to substitute for what his body can't make anymore.
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Thanks. I spoke with the doctor abd the SW at the facility. Dad will be coming home this coming Tuesday. I am so happy. The doctor also stated as newtown joyce stated that the home and family environment is better. thanks for the tip. Any good geriatric Psychiatrist in Phila, Pa?
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I am suspicious of what is going on at the facility he is at? Why a psych hospital? So take him home for a test run. He feels safe with you. That is awesome!
Check the meds he is taking to be sure they aren't causing side effects such as the paranoia and sleeplessness.
My dad's psch doctor told me being with family is better anyway as long as possible. Not easy, but the best. My dad ( age 83) also has dementia....dementia is NOT Altzeimers like many think. Totally different behavior.
HOpe this helps.
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