He has MS he was diagnosed with it a couple of years ago. I think he is depressed he says he can barely walk wen I’ve seen him take full steps and ride a bike. He’s there, I know he knows better, he is filthy rude and just doesn’t give two S. Some days he’s ok feeling good almost walking perfectly fine. It’s so hard to constantly watch over him. He’s only 54. It’s like he needs attention constantly. What or how do I solve this huge problem! And he urinates and poops everywhere it’s so sad. We all as a family are just fed up with the way he is acting.
Don't humor your father. Don't play the baby game with him either. Your family needs to make him understand that none of you are going to clean up after him pissing and crapping all over the house, and if such is going to be the case he will be sent to live in a care facility. Then stick to it. You said he's capable of doing for himself. The next time he pisses and craps on the couch or something, refuse to help him. You will see he'll help himself. Do not tolerate his rudeness and obscenity. There is always the option of a care facility and he needs to understand that you will not think twice putting him in one and not looking back.
He needs some tough love from all of you and if all the family is not united in making him do for himself and clean up his rude act then your situation will continue as it is until his disease progresses to the point where there's no choice but to put him in a facility.
One day they maybe able to walk with a walker, the next need to use their wheelchair. It is the nature of the illness.
Here is some information from https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/multiple-sclerosis/symptoms/
Multiple sclerosis (MS) can cause a wide range of symptoms and affect any part of the body. Each person with the condition is affected differently.
The symptoms are unpredictable. Some people's symptoms develop and worsen steadily over time, while for others they come and go.
Periods when symptoms get worse are known as relapses. Periods when symptoms improve or disappear are known as remissions.
Some of the most common symptoms include:
fatigue
vision problems
numbness and tingling
muscle spasms, stiffness and weakness
mobility problems
pain
problems with thinking, learning and planning
depression and anxiety
sexual problems
bladder problems
bowel problems
speech and swallowing difficulties
Most people with MS only have a few of these symptoms.
A friend's daughter was diagnosed in her mid 20's after suffering for years. Nobody believed her when she reported her symptoms because of the variability of them. Not being believed took a huge toll on her mental health.
A former co-worker has MS. Stress was a major trigger for her, as was trying to do too much. For her she could manage working 25 hours a week, anything over that and her MS would flare up and she would be off work for a week or more. She used to ride her bike to work as she gave up driving.
Perhaps your Dad is as frustrated as you that his abilities are so variable? Can you imagine knowing that your family is going to give your grief instead of support if you cannot make it to the toilet on time?
When you state "It’s like he needs attention constantly." are you saying he wants the family to pay attention to him, or are you saying the family feels he needs constant supervision?
If Dad wants constant attention it maybe that he is afraid that he may need help and no one is there to provide it. If the family feels the need to supervise him, then that can lead to other issues.
Please educate yourself and your family on how MS impacts a person's life.
Maybe your dad needs a higher level of care than you can afford him at home. I can put up with a LOT, but using the house as your personal bathroom--a deal breaker.
This is up to you & family, of course, but he will not get 'better'. Do read as much as you can about MS--Personally, I do not know that much. Some people sail through w/o it totally affecting every aspect of their lives, some are very compromised at young ages.
Educate yourselves and make a plan for his care. Was he like this prior to the dx of MS? I mean, personality-wise. Just wondering.
"How do you solve this huge problem?"
Firstly I believe by being realistic about his diagnosis & disease prognosis.