The estate has been left with the house to the sister with POA. The money and investments to myself as the other sibling.
There is no trust or communication. The sister with the POA will likely spend all the money and investments on her family under cover of best interests of father whose house she has moved into.
She has demonstrated untrustworthy behaviour previously.
What can I do to ensure honest dealing, transparency and fairness before its an estate/will situation (she is also executor) and a feast for lawyers.
I live abroad- Covid has made the distance worse so I can't get back- and my sibling arranged all this behind my back when my father was losing his capabilities. Of course she has a doctors cert to say he was of sound mind- but I could tell by phone he was rapidly degenerating. My father's first will said everything was split evenly but my sibling got him to leave house to her- and as she has moved in with family- and is spending rest- she will likely get everything .
Just checking.
"The sister with the POA will *likely* spend all the money..."
"She has demonstrated untrustworthy behaviour previously." (what, exactly?)
"...my sibling arranged all this behind my back when my father was losing his capabilities"
If your sister lives in the US she can't make a PoA or trust or change his will FOR him, with or without PoA. If she somehow managed to do this then you'd have evidence to take to court.
"...she has a doctors cert to say he was of sound mind- but I could tell by phone he was rapidly degenerating..."
When you go to an attorney to create a PoA, the attorney interviews that person privately and separately to determine if he/she is competent to make the decision and understand its ramifications. Even if your dad was having some memory issues, this would not necessarily prevent an attorney from creating the document. They would not rely solely on a doctor's medical diagnosis. If your father was rapidly deteriorating perhaps they both understood how urgent it was for them to get the legal structures in place for her to be legally able to manage his affairs and care for him.
"My father's first will said everything was split evenly but my sibling got him to leave house to her- and as she has moved in with family- and is spending rest- she will *likely* get everything ..."
So, are you interpret that he is leaving the house to her because they moved in with him? This is an assumption if you have not heard this from either of their lips. Many family caregivers move in together because taking care of 2 households is expensive and exhausting.
Are there other siblings or relatives where they live who are/can help them? If not she may be remodeling the home to keep him in it longer, or making it safer/easier, etc.
Maybe if he really is leaving the house to her it is to compensate her for the 24/7 caregiving and management she is providing. In the end, if he was in his right mind when he made this decision, this is his choice, whether you like it or not, whatever his reasoning was. I'm not that knowledgeable about trusts but is he able to change the trust on his own? Can she?
My own cousin gave 24/7 live-in caregiving for her wheelchair-bound father (my uncle) for 3 years receiving no pay and he left her the house. Instead of gratitude her greedy siblings (who are very well-off) are contesting the will. It happens all the time because people become suspicious when they're not in the loop, and they are more focused on the inheritance than their parent.
It is very possible that your sister is running around with her hair on fire trying to care for your father, especially if he has humble financial means, and she has her own family to still attend to every day. Please read on this forum other posts under the topic Caregiver Burnout to understand what she may be going through.
If you really want to know what's going on you will have to take a trip there for about 2 weeks to fully understand what's happening to allay (or confirm) your fears. Being constantly suspicious of your sister's motives and unappreciative of her sacrifice is what will destroy your relationship, not the inheritance, which will most likely get used up paying for his care, as it should.
Would you be happier if your father were placed in a memory care unit? A memory care unit would account for the money in full. And quickly, too, unless your father's resources are unusually extensive.
As POA your sister, too, can be required to account for how she spends your father's money and must be able to demonstrate that it has been used exclusively for his benefit. But she isn't accountable to you. To find out what the requirements are where your father lives, visit that state's own governmental website and search under "financial power of attorney."