He said he was told to just walk away after their lunch at the facility, not say goodbye and not come back for at least 3 months. This would help her get better situated.
She does have a son close the the facility who is "supposed" to visit her at a later date. Is this a normal way to leave a person in a Memory Care facility?
Does the boyfriend have the authority to put her into a nursing home?
If they live in a state that has common law marriage, then he might be considered next-of-kin and have the right to do so. If they do not live in a state with common law marriage, then he doesn't have authority to do this. Her son would have to be the one to authorize this.
Is this the usual procedure in this facility?
I know that some facilities do recommend that family not visit for a short period until the person gets used to the new living situation, I am not a fan of anybody lying to a person with dementia - or any other condition.
Not really sure what "supposed to visit" means?
I am assuming that the relationship between parent and child is not solid.
The comment seems to imply that this woman is being abandoned into memory care. Unfortunately, this does happen at times. Without concrete information about who is responsible for her, I would hate to speculate.
Whether the advice on not going to visit for 3 months is right or not, will to a large extent depend on how advanced her dementia is. If he has nursed her with assistance and she no longer knows who he is, or gets easily agitated then whilst it sounds draconian not upsetting her by visiting whilst she settles is probably the best thing. If every time someone visits the staff have to start settling the person again as if they have just arrived it is a great deal of extra work for them, and if the person gets agitated / upset then it is harder for them too. Obviously it is not easy to leave someone to the facility and not have contact for three months (and I doubt they want him to phone either, although phones in rooms seems uncommon in memory facilities so I am sure he can phone staff to check on her and how she is settling in), but it takes time, for anyone to settle into a different way of living, and depending on the extent of the dementia that time will vary. Their approach sounds harsh, but it no doubt a result of experience, and having moved my mother to a facility I can totally understand their practices.