She has not been deemed incompetent. Her house goes up for auction in 10 days because a certification of residency has not been filed this year on her reverse mortgage. The convalescent home will not let me see her nor will they give her the paperwork to stop the foreclosure. I am at a loss of what to do. Any help would be appreciated, thank you.
If your friend has dementia she can no longer sign any legal papers, make financial decisions that is for her Guardian or POA.
It is common, when a senior leaves her home, for the reverse mortgage to be due.
Your friend is in a extended care facility. That doesn't happen by accident and they are not prisons. None of us here on Forum can guess about the absolute facts in this individual's case, but for the police to show up means that there was a whole lot of concern over her showing up missing.
Were I you I would throw myself on the mercy of the admins at the extended care facility. I would say that clearly I made a mistake in not letting them know that I was taking my friend to her home, but that she asked me to and I knew of no reason she could not leave. Tell them that you need to know the reasons she cannot leave; can she leave if they know she is going (I was free to take my brother to lunch with a sign out signature)? I would ask if she has a guardian, or a POA who is family, or if the State has guardianship. Reassure them that you just want to understand the rules and regulations.
I suspect there is a whole lot you don't know or understand, perhaps including any diagnosis you friend may have that forbids her leaving the facility without notification.
I wish you good luck. I am afraid we all, here, will be as much in the dark about what all this means as you are. Ask the administration. They cannot give you private information, but they CAN reassure you that your friends has rules, what those rules are, and that she has someone looking over herself and her affairs for her. I sure wish you luck and hope you will update us.
Again, if the police showed up then they had authority to do so on someone's behalf. I hope you find out who that someone is.
Upon sale of the home the mortgage for the home will be paid (the reverse mortgage is a kind of a "loan" if you will). The remainder will be assets of your friend. These assets will be used for her care in facility.
A couple of questions.
1. How do you know she hasn't been declared incompetent? Did she tell you that, or have you information from the NH or a lawyer that she is still competent?
2. Does she have someone who is Power of Attorney or Guardian? Has she been declared a Ward of the State (in that case, she would have been declared incompetent in court, by a judge).
3. If she is still competent, she can assign YOU to be her power of attorney. The fact that the police were able to remand her back to the NH tells me that she is no longer in charge of her affairs, i.e., that she has been declared incompetent.
Proceed with caution. Seek legal advice.
We don't know that there is any family. Might be. Might not be.
Any person, no matter how barking or wall-climbing, is entitled to be heard and is entitled to be represented. If this lady was made a ward of court, or if guardianship was granted to any given applicant, the lady had the right to an advocate during those processes. If she had created a springing DPOA now in force, she still has the right to have it ensured that the DPOA has been operated correctly.
It is not quite safe to assume that everything was done properly. I can understand the OP's concern.
Mitchell -
The lady was taken to a psychiatric unit for 72 hours for observation. Why? - you must have a good idea. And you might also know: on whose authority? Who raised the alarm about her wellbeing in the first place?
How did you get to learn where she was discharged to, right down to visiting hours and the address?
You yourself don't have any right to be told a dicky-bird about what is happening. Nothing. But ANYBODY has the right to voice a concern and to make a report. Do I gather that you have already contacted APS about all this?
She has a right to make sure her whoever has her POA is doing right by her and acting correctly on her behalf.
Whoever has her POA or conservatorship over her and someone does have this, had her committed for a 72 hour psych hold because that would mean placement in a care facility if she's an elder. Whoever is making her decisions has probably been trying to get her into care facility for a long time but hasn't been able to.
If you had the cops called on you for taking her out of the care facility, then she is no longer legally in charge of her own decision making. Someone else is.
I think it's great that you're such a caring person to be so concerned for a friend. Nobody should be deprived of their liberty if they are of sound mind. Your friend is not.
Do you know what "showtiming" is? Showtiming is an act that someone with dementia can put on for short periods of time where they come off as completely lucid and totally with it. They are able to compensate for their lack of memory by doing things like changing the subject, or making jokes. Some can even hold a rational conversation. Your friend seems totally fine to you. Many showtimers are even able to get one over on their doctors too. They seem fine until they're driving and forget where they are and panic. Maybe they leave the stove on or the bath running. Or the electricity gets shut off because they forget that the bills are due.
Or they get scammed or worse by strangers because they don't know not to give out their banking information or they let a stranger in because they think they know them.
Talk to your friend's family. Maybe they will let you visit her because you're a good friend. Beware of showtiming though.
"I am the groundskeeper for an elderly woman of 76 years old she was taken in for a 72-hour psychological evaluation and then they transferred her to a convalescent home against her will she has not been deemed incompetent and wants to come home I went to the nursing home I asked her if she wanted to come home she said yes she didn't want to stay there so I brought her home and the nursing home called and reported a kidnapping and the police came they took her back to the nursing home against her wishes her home is going to be auctioned off by the mortgage company in 10 days because defaulted her reverse mortgage by moving out she has not moved out and they won't let me see her at the nursing home to get her to sign a verification of occupancy certificate to stop the foreclosure. I get no help from governmental entities assisting bringing her home what do I do? I cannot stand by and let this woman lose her home!"
You are the GROUNDSKEEPER for this woman's property! I do not believe you have ANY rights to stop any proceedings against the foreclosure of her home, nor do you have any rights to remove her from the nursing home! As evidenced by them filing a police report against you for kidnapping!. If you're not careful, you will wind up in jail for your efforts to help this woman when her family hasn't asked you to. What makes you think this 'convalescent home' is in possession of 'paperwork to stop the foreclosure' of your friend's home???
You can always call an attorney to find out how you can help, but I would not get my hopes up if I were you.
Who requested a 72 hour evaluation? Because it must have been determined she needed 24/7 care for her to be placed in Longterm care.
As her employee, you could have not been there 24/7. If she is in the early stages of Dementia, sometimes it doesn't show its ugly head till late afternoon or evening. She could be wandering the streets at night or pounding on neighbors doors. Someone reported her for the authorities to step in and place her under a 72 hr eval.
You may have saved her house only to have it sold for her care. Who picks up her mail? If been rerouted, send a note to her address to To Whom It may concern c/o her. Explain that you felt you were helping a friend and now apologize for your actions. That you truly thought your employer/friend was competent in making her own decisions. That you are still worried about her and would love it if they could tell you how she is doing? Then put: you can call or text me at this # or email me at...you may get the note back with a yellow sticker telling u where her mail is going,
We are not a Police State. People just don't walk in and remove old ladies from their homes without someone reporting them to authorities. You can't just call the police and they go in and take people. They had to have a court order. Your friend had to be exhibiting behaviours that someone felt it serious enough to report. Someone found this woman needed 24/7 care.
So sorry but do please come back and update us.
Mitchell, you say your are the groundskeeper for this woman, and she was taken against her will to hospital where she was 5150'd or otherwise held, and that from there she was transferred to LTC nursing home against her will, and that you have checked court documents for guardianship/conservatorship proceedings and there are none, and that there is no family and the Nursing Home will not let you visit. We appreciate this update. It is now almost one month since your employer was "taken"; you seem to feel she is held against her will by the LTC facility at the request of "someone", you have no idea who, and that nooth one is allowed to visit. You seemed to fear that there are some shenanigans afoot to cause her reverse mortgage to go into default due to her absence from home, allowing sale of her estate. You said that the estate would go up for sale in 10 days from your March 24th post? Did this happen?
I hope I have all of that clear.
Can you tell me, Mitchell, are you STILL serving as groundsman at the estate?
If so, who is paying your check. The manager of the estate at this time is almost certainly also either THE manager of your employer's placement, OR would know who that is.
You say that both the police, who accused you of kidnapping, and the APS are not helpful. And you say that the LTC facility has no papers to hold your employer nor forbid visitors.
I can only think that whatever cracks all the facts in this case fell through, they apparently DID fall. The LTC facility would in fact lose licensure were they to hold a person against her will; they are not prisons.
Are there any relatives that your employer had, or friends? A relative would have access to Ombudsman for the facility.
What did adult protective services tell you when you spoke to them.
All in all, you have reported your suspicions to everyone I myself can think of other than an ombudsman. You might retry the APS. They cannot share infor with you but they may be able to reassure you that someone is responsible for the care and placement of your employer.
In your original post you said that the estate would go up for sale in 10 days if you could not stop it, to pay the reverse mortgage. Did this happen?? If so, who listed this estate? They will be interested in your story as well, and may find some way to reassure you.
Thanks for your update. Best of luck to you.