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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Will he let you help him in the shower? My late husband(who had vascular dementia)was very unsteady on his feet and needed help showering and would let me help him in it. He would sit on the shower bench and I would stand outside of it and wash him up best I could. I of course did get somewhat wet, but I didn't care as long as he was getting clean. You will want to make sure that you have grab bars, a good bath mat, along with the shower bench so he feels safe when he gets in. And if he won't let you help him, like suggested you can hire aides to come get him in. And if all else fails they do make great body wipes in extra large and waterless shampoo and conditioner caps that you can order on Walmart.com or Amazon, that you can use to give him more of a sponge bath. I had to eventually use both of those when my husband became bedridden and hospice was only coming twice a week to bathe him in the bed. They work great and are better than nothing. I wish you well as I can't imagine having to sleep with or even be around someone that stinks so.
I would suggest you hire some homecare. Request a male CNA to help your husband shower. Some people are uncomfortable having a spouse or adult child helping them in such a way. I think aide care a couple of times a week could really benefit both you and your husband.
He's obviously got dementia. I wouldn't trust a man with dementia naked in the shower. He could hurt her and/or himself. Showering with your spouse is great when you're in love, feeling sexy, and both parties have got all their marbles.
Move into the spare bedroom until he takes a shower. Rinse and repeat. You should not have to be nauseous sleeping next to such a stench. I understand about a dementia patient refusing to shower, and I also understand that if he values sleeping next to you, he'll agree to more often showers. If not, move out of the room.
Would the suggestion of a shower and back scrub together be appalling to him? I am afraid I don't have other ideas except just BEING there when he showers, and letting him know that you CAN smell him and it "ain't good". My brother, due to his Lewy's had lost his sense of smell and he hated deodorants, had convinced himself he didn't need then. I told him he did, in no uncertain terms. I think you can but do your best.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You will want to make sure that you have grab bars, a good bath mat, along with the shower bench so he feels safe when he gets in.
And if he won't let you help him, like suggested you can hire aides to come get him in.
And if all else fails they do make great body wipes in extra large and waterless shampoo and conditioner caps that you can order on Walmart.com or Amazon, that you can use to give him more of a sponge bath.
I had to eventually use both of those when my husband became bedridden and hospice was only coming twice a week to bathe him in the bed. They work great and are better than nothing.
I wish you well as I can't imagine having to sleep with or even be around someone that stinks so.
Or you tell him outright: "No shower - no nookie." And I know you're probably *not* having nookie but he may still want nookie or think about nookie.
Good luck