She's in a full-time care facility and continually asks us to get her a phone. When she had a landline in the hospital, she called all hours. She was eventually moved to a facility with no phone line, and my sister-in-law got her a cell phone. She'd burn through the minutes in a day calling random numbers because she can't remember how to use the phone. I gave the phone back to my SIL because of the frustration it was causing my MIL. She would always think the phone was broken and it was out of minutes, nothing but random numbers that she had called (she forgets where she has put the laminated cards I made her with our names and phone numbers on each card). Now, she is insistant on getting a cell phone because _____. (Fill in the blank because it's something different each time.) She needs a phone because they're beating her up, someone came and had a gun, someone was trying to kidnap her, someone was stealing her stuff, etc. Reasoning does no good. I tell her I'm working on it, but she's persistent. I just don't know how to handle this. I was her caregiver before the police had to break into her home and we found her unresponsive and hours from death. She trusts me and I don't want to break that trust. I'm just at a loss.
An example of one is on Amazon -
www.amazon.co.uk/Y-PHONE-Childrens-Toy-Y
Phone/dp/B011VP0NSG/ref=pd_vtph_21_lp_t_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=MSAN9PCE6NGESE5P69PF
Just a thought. :)
On my cell phone, if it rings I have to remember to hit "send" in order to answer the call.... which makes no sense at all :P My sig other has to use a Smart Phone for work and he hates it with a passion.
When my Dad lived in Memory Care he had his own landline to use, but he would forget to dial 9 first, which was ok because who knows who he was trying to call. Those in Memory Care that had no phones could use the lobby phone, again one would need to dial 9. Usually one would give up being distracted by something else.
Finally, I got him a gift card that resembled a credit card.
He accepted it and never asked again. But, after a few days he started up with something else he had to have!
If you can try to put the humor in it and see it as the same game over and over. That way it’s not as personal or frustrating. In your mind just think "here she goes again."
After the Ooma device purchase (available everywhere, including Walmart and Amazon) the monthly charge is nominal - taxes and a VERY small fee. I have used Ooma for at least 5 years, and my monthly cost is less than $8. I love it.
And because the cordless handset sits in a charging cradle, it would be in MIL's room -- but the staff could "take it" after a certain time at night, if desired (some valid-sounding reason if needed, e.g., it needs to be charged, or needs to be checked, etc.).
And it's not as if the purchase would be wasted, if that didn't work out -- you could take it home and use it there. The phone number stays with the Ooma device, so the phone number moves to where the device is placed - works anywhere it can be hooked to an internet connection. Some people take theirs with them in their motorhomes - talk about a "portable" phone. _smile_
Good luck solving your problem.
When she was in rehab, my SIL got her a landline until the first bill came in. That stopped very quickly.
This is an excellent idea as are the ideas for the phone with child controls.
There are some caregivers who refuse a phone to an elderly person as a way to exert control and prevent them from calling other family members.
Also, if a person has POA, the fact that you refused your mother a phone, can cause a case for undue influence and self-dealing to be brought against the POA.
Use her money to pay for any stray phone calls. But, again, if you use the child controls you can control the numbers she is able to dial.
People with Alzheimers or dementia do often have moments of lucidity.
It seems odd that someone would want to deny their parent the ability to reach out to other family members, when a child control phone is available to limit charges.
To add, if your mother is totally incompetent and this has been verified.....then then the toy phone and play money may suffice, without exposing you to undue influence charges down the road.
If you mother has not been declared incompetent and is only partially impaired with moments of lucidity, you will be exposing yourself to undue influence charges by withholding the phone.