I'm trying to understand this. Just today my dad called me and said, "Well I cut and trimmed the grass and then I did all the laundry and your mother doesn't even know it was me that did it." He said my mom came into the living room after he did all the chores (because he was relaxing for a few minutes) and said, "All you do here is watch TV so why don't you just go home to your wife and stop hanging around here and go watch TV at your own house." Why can't she see my dad's face and another thing, why can't she recognize his voice either? I want to know what is going on in her brain more than anything.
Her sister had been her sister for 75+ years and mom did not know her.
She had a sister that passed away 60 years ago and she often wanted to call her as well as her parents that passed years ago.
Her hubby? They had known each other for most of their lives, married on mom's 80th birthday, there were many times she did not know him. Yet she loved holding his hand.😍
This is dementia, very difficult at times, for all.
If this is dementia, then your mom can’t recognize your dad because that part of her brain is “broken”.
The temporal lobe of the brain is responsible for recognizing people. There are plaques and tangles that interfere with normal brain function. They clog the pathways that are needed to think clearly. It’s not her fault.
Either way your mom needs to be checked. The hard part is finding a way to make that happen. Is she close with another family member or neighbor? If so, enlist their help to get her to a doctor. Maybe she could go with your dad to a (fake) doctor’s appointment for him.
This problem won’t go away. The sooner you find out what’s causing her behavior, the better.
Good luck and God bless you all.
One day she took a knife to him.
It is a terrible disease. Luckily Mum's friend was willing to go to the doctor and still recognized some people. Sometimes she would recognize that she knew someone, but she would not know which person it was.
My neighbour had vascular dementia, she could not tell the difference between the sexes any more. It was discombobulating for my daughter, in pig tails and a dress to be called a little boy.
If you cannot get your mother to the doctor, then you need to have someone come to the house to assess her. If she locks herself in her room so be it, but perhaps you can remove the locks from interior doors ahead of time.
call these people tomorrow and tell them what’s going on.
If you don’t get the help you need from KIPDA,
You may have to get your dad to call the police when she gets angry. You could call an ambulance but they might not be able to get her to go. So if she’s violet the police should be willing to help.
Ask them to take her to the ER. A UTI can cause much of this and all she needs is the right antibiotic. A UTI can be toxic. She could die. She can hurt your father. You need to take action.
Dont argue with her or try to persuade her. You’ve already seen that doesn’t work. She needs medication. It’s your father you have to persuade. This is not about how much he can put up with. He needs to get her help.
Call them and get her help.
You may be able to get a social worker, home health nurse or dr to come to home for an assessment. Call hospice & insurance & see what’s available. You could also try Area Agency On Aging, County Social Services, AARP or United Way. Let them know she refuses to go & ask them to wear regular clothes & be discreet. There are medications that may help!
if her behavior is becoming more unstable then you may need to trick her to going to the appointment and don't tell her in advance just say you have an errand and need her to go with you and then take her for lunch or pie and coffee afterwards
Whatever the case, you need to take her to see her doctor asap and possibly a neurologist to see what is going on in her brain.