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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Your mom is probably very tired. It’s hard to keep going when our bodies are old and worn out. When my mom had fractures in her back, she said she didn’t hurt unless she moved. Well she had to move and had to take pain meds in order to move but she wanted to. She knew she had to do the therapy that was required. She recovered from the fall and lived several more years but it was very hard.
Her last trip to the hospital with CHF was one too many. She was too worn out to be going through all of that again. I regret I didn’t listen to her trying to tell me she wanted to stop. It was hard work just to stay alive.
Be careful that she doesn’t get aspiration pneumonia since she doesn’t want to eat. She may need a swallow test.
Do your mom a favor and read the book “Being Mortal, Medicine and what matters in the end” by Atul Gawande. Your mom may heal and get better from this incident but just know it’s easy for us as caretakers to get so focused on keeping them alive that we lose sight of their quality of life.
If your mother has 'no will to go on' and doesn't want to eat, her body is winding down for death. It is probably best to change the way you have tried to help her in the past, and instead support her and your family members for the coming end. Best wishes.
The simple answer is that you can’t “battle it”. Nor should you try. Is she on Hospice? If not, check with her doctor or nurse for suggestions. I’m sure she’s on painkillers that will make her sleep and probably kill her appetite as well.
The best way way to handle this is with grace and calm acceptance. You can’t fight the inevitable. Spend as much time with her as you can. When she’s awake, tell her you love her and that she’s a great mom. It will make it easier on both of you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When my mom had fractures in her back, she said she didn’t hurt unless she moved.
Well she had to move and had to take pain meds in order to move but she wanted to. She knew she had to do the therapy that was required. She recovered from the fall and lived several more years but it was very hard.
Her last trip to the hospital with CHF was one too many. She was too worn out to be going through all of that again. I regret I didn’t listen to her trying to tell me she wanted to stop. It was hard work just to stay alive.
Be careful that she doesn’t get aspiration pneumonia since she doesn’t want to eat. She may need a swallow test.
Do your mom a favor and read the book “Being Mortal, Medicine and what matters in the end” by Atul Gawande.
Your mom may heal and get better from this incident but just know it’s easy for us as caretakers to get so focused on keeping them alive that we lose sight of their quality of life.
I agree about considering having her evaluated for Hospice. If she qualifies, they can help address pain and other needs she may have.
The best way way to handle this is with grace and calm acceptance. You can’t fight the inevitable. Spend as much time with her as you can. When she’s awake, tell her you love her and that she’s a great mom. It will make it easier on both of you.