I know this is dementia as I went through it with my father recently. My mother lives with me and I am in the home alone with her. We had the sheriff here multiple times, but they will not 5150 her and she refuses to see her doctor. She throws things and is belligerent, nasty and very aggressive towards me, She is having persecutory delusions targeting me. Until I can get her a diagnosis and proper care, how do I protect myself from her claiming elder abuse.? This is her daily accusation. I stay 10 feet away from her at all times, and I turn my phone on record anytime she speaks to me. I have ring cameras up in the house. It’s ridiculous, but I am concerned she is trying to get me in trouble. How can I protect myself? This is not only absolutely heartbreaking as we have been incredibly close all our lives. This started a few months ago and it has gotten really bad. In addition she has phoned and text people that I went to school with, men I have dated, etc. and told horrible stories about me, extremely humiliating fabrications and has shared my personal financial information, and other things with all these people. Do I Have any rights.??? She has no other family that will deal with her and nowhere to go. Until I can get her a diagnosis she is here with me and I don’t know what else I can do to protect myself.
I’m so sorry you’re living this nightmare.
I'd go the 911/EMS route as suggested. Absolutely could be UTI. Or other infection, stroke, imbalance/low sodium, medication over/under dose.. many things can be ruled out.
Depending on how it goes with your Mom, if you live in your house (not hers) then I would start an eviction process (to give yourself the power to get her out in the future). If you live in her house you may need to consider moving out, even temporarily, so that you can tell the hospital or APS that she is an "unsafe discharge". If she goes back home to an empty house you will then have a stronger case with APS if your Mom can't do her ADLs. Waiting for her to fail "enough" for the county to take action is hard and a last resort but it may be your only option to get her the care she needs.
This has to be addressed.
If you cannot do this then I would call APS and say you are about to leave your home and your mother is not safe alone. That she requires immediate emergency intervention.
Whatever you do you should NOT take on POA, responsibility, emergency or other guardianship on this woman. Let the state intervene and place her in appropriate care.
If, of course, you are living with your mother as her caregiver in HER home, then you do have the problem of moving, getting your own job and housing.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. You are NOT alone.
Call 911 and tell them that your mom is acting crazy and that you think she has a UTI(yes you may have to lie about that)and have then take her to the ER, and while there you let the social worker and the doctor know that your mom CANNOT return to your home as you can no longer care for her and that she is an unsafe discharge.
If you stand your ground that she CANNOT return to your home, they will have to find the appropriate facility to place her in.
It sounds like you're living in pure hell right now, and right in your own home. Sad, very sad.
Please know that you deserve better, and I hope you will do whatever it takes to get mom out of your home soon.