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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I found that prayers helped - cry out to God about your feelings. Journalling also helped me. My mom refused Hospice care so it made things hard. She lived for only a week in a nursing home after being in TCU for two weeks. I am praying for you. Don't feel guilty about the emotions! Talk to others who have been there and done that. This site is an awesome way to connect. PRAYING FOR YOU!
Thanks for the suggestion about Hospice. They are there for the patient but they are also there for the caregivers and family. I know I have mentioned before but the Gail Sheehy Book: Passages for Caregivers has been a life saver. As my father declines in mental clarity i feel like I need to be there more and am becoming more isolated with mixed emotions about that. Keeping contact with folks outside the house is so important. My friends will ask for an update then we are on to other things. It is so important to try and get out of the House mentally and physically. Sharing those feelings with the folks who understand the process is validating. Hospice, cleregy, social workers understand the process. My thoughts are with you as you undergo this process.
Hospice does provide medical support, a nurse comes to see my mom as often as needed but at least once per week. A social services person comes at least once per month to help you get through the emotional part and they will also provide clergy to assit you as well. Even though my sister and I have all of this great support you still feel so alone and your emotions go up and down like a rollercoaster. I have been taking care of my mother 6 days a week for the last 6 months and my sister relieves me 1 day per week. Though I want to be with her until the end it is extremely difficult for anyone to go through. The only way I can sainly get thorough this is to try and put the bad and sad things about this ordeal out of my mind and litereally be thankful for every day we still have her here. My mom is dying of ovarian cancer, however, she can hardly see, cannot hear us much if at all and she can only use her top dentures as the bottoms need to be replaced and she wouldn't be able to undergo the procedure due to her condition. There are days when she can be pretty ornery and it seems like everything you do isn't right or good enough but during those times I think of the things I put her through growing up and how she always was kind and understanding in helping me get through those times. It is a very lonely club we belong to and the only thing I can stress is get yourself some alone time as much as you can. It is the only way I can rejuvinate myself. I also have 3 dogs with me that need my attention as well, however, they are the ones that really save me. We go for 3 walks per day and just doing that helps to clear my head. Dogs won't let you get depressed. They force you to have fun with them and when you do feel down they sit by your side and put their head on your lap to comfort you. I wish you the best of luck in being a caregiver.
Caregivers are put through a "gauntlet" of emotions in caring for loved ones. There is all the stress of day-to-day care, dealing with the medical community, and just watching them decline over time. When the end draws near, there is just no energy left to give. You go from a caregiving mode to a greiving mode...in a weird way, it is like the brakes being slammed on. Then, there is the waiting for the inevitable. The human body is just not built to withstand this much emotion and grief. On the one hand, you do not wish them to suffer, on the other you are losing a connection to your past. I have lost so many elders in my family recently, and I realized that I not only miss them, but have pangs of nostalgia for when I was younger and everyone was vibrant and healthy. It is like things will never be the same again. I don't know if I have all the words to console you. Please know that you did your best and your Mom knows it. Make her last days as stress free and loving as possible. If you are a person of faith, seek counseling of your church leaders. Wishing you and your family peace.....Lilli
I myself am going to be facing this very thing sometime this year (unless God intervenes that is) with my mom. My thinking is that I will be spending as much time as possible with her and my dad. It is enormously wonderful though, knowing that my mother is a Christian and is totally waiting for the Lord to take her. Knowing that I will be seeing her again in Heaven takes some of the sting out of her dying. "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?" I Corinthians 15:55 It may not be what you were looking for in your question, but that's how I'm going to handle it. God bless.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When the end draws near, there is just no energy left to give. You go from a caregiving mode to a greiving mode...in a weird way, it is like the brakes being slammed on. Then, there is the waiting for the inevitable. The human body is just not built to withstand this much emotion and grief. On the one hand, you do not wish them to suffer, on the other you are losing a connection to your past. I have lost so many elders in my family recently, and I realized that I not only miss them, but have pangs of nostalgia for when I was younger and everyone was vibrant and healthy. It is like things will never be the same again.
I don't know if I have all the words to console you. Please know that you did your best and your Mom knows it. Make her last days as stress free and loving as possible. If you are a person of faith, seek counseling of your church leaders.
Wishing you and your family peace.....Lilli
It may not be what you were looking for in your question, but that's how I'm going to handle it. God bless.