...When mom mom is not having a dementia spell, she says she sees fine. But then later will complain she cannot see to read/use the TV and wants glasses. She can no longer use readers. I am not sure at 95 she can sit long enough and understand a eye exam. Is the ability to not see well part of the aging process and I shouldn't bother with this? My daughter guilt says to take her/ the nursing staff has no real opinion either way. Let me add that I live out of state, and have to make travel arrangements after searching for and finding a eye doctor. Is this all worth it?
One minute my mother will complain about her vision and proclaim her glasses to be someone else's. The next, she can see fine. Her pattern of behaviour has left me with the impression that she thinks her glasses are wrong when she can’t process what she’s looking at.
Example: I took her outdoors. She used to be a birdwatcher, and spotted a bird in a tree at a distance. Her cognition is quite poor but I had the impression she could see as far as I could.
I showed her some greeting cards she’d received and she commented about the birds on one. She held the card at a typical distance from her face and didn’t squint.
She asked again for “her” glasses while examining an abstract painting in the home. She said she had no idea what the lines and dots were supposed to be. (trees)
You might be able to get some clues by watching her as she looks at a variety of things at varying distances.
I ultimately did not have her vision tested.
It's also what could be causing her to say she can see fine and then say she can't. "When she's not having a dementia spell," as you say, she may have forgotten that she can't see. But later she is reminded of it and wants glasses. She may be forgetting later that she told you she wants glasses. You can't rely on her anymore to think, process, retain, examine, or execute.
Of course people have vision problems requiring glasses as they get older. That is normal. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't bother with this. According to my LO's doctor, it's important that dementia patients have the best hearing and vision possible. My interpretation of his explanation: This is because the neuron pathways have to be maintained in order to get information to the brain. If the pathways deteriorate, so does the brain. Then cognitive decline increases. (You can't fix the neurons that are gone, but you can try to maintain the ones you've got by providing hearing aids and glasses so the information can get to the brain.)
With dementia, mom's already headed toward being unable to talk, walk, feed herself, etc. You don't want this to happen.
You could probably find an aide that you could pay to take her to an eye exam. Your best bet is to get the eye doctor to come to her, and some of them do that.
Up to you how you want to handle it. Good luck to you and mom.
If it's too difficult for you to take her to have her eyes examined, ask the facility to arrange for a professional to visit her.
And buy her a good reading light.
And a handsome magnifying glass for when there's something she really does want to see.
I think it will go a way to reassure her. Aging changed however will occur if we live long enough. I think getting a kindle might be fun for her and you can make the print as large as you like. It is easily used if you help to load in a book for her.
There may be for her more a problem of processing than the actual viewing. Hard to say. But I think you will both feel better if you attempt an exam; I would keep expectations that it may help low.