I tried using a whiteboard calendar in the kitchen and going over it with her each day. However, she has no short-term memory and she cannot remember anything myself or my dad tell her. Having the calendar does not seem to work. However, she gets increasingly agitated about not knowing what is going on each day. Perhaps I should move the whiteboard calendar to a more prominent place in the kitchen. Right now, you would not see it every day if you did not know where to look. Any thoughts from anyone?
At some point you'll have to abandon the whiteboard and tell mom what she needs to know just before she needs to know it. Such as, "We'll be leaving for the dentist's office in fifteen minutes. Let's go put on your nice shoes." Minimize conversation about how she went to see Aunt Gertrude yesterday and how the grandkids will be over next week. (Who is Aunt Gertrude? What grandkids? What is a week?) They increasingly live in the present. Even chance comments by dad about how there was an earthquake in California yesterday can confuse. (What is an earthquake? Is California where I live? Yesterday?) For that reason, keep small talk to a minimum. Yes, that's a loss of companionship, but others have to accommodate to their brain, not her brain to yours.
Medicine to calm her down might help a lot.
That’s what my friend did with her mom. Whiteboard didn’t work anymore. Memory too short.
If she is constantly agitated I would talk to her doctor about putting her on medication for that as there are several available to help with agitation. And just tell her day of if she has anything going on that day.
I mean how many things can a person with dementia have going on anyway that you'd need a calendar? Her life should now be kept as simple and conflict free as possible, especially if all this "going" is causing her such anxiety.
position with my husband.
I used post it notes on the cabinets when my spouse would forget where things were. However eventually the notes became meaningless to him. I went with pictures ( a simple drawing ) of what was in cabinets. That helped for a bit, then eventually it didn’t. If she can’t remember to check white board or doesn’t understand what’s on white board, quit using it. Don’t expect her to learn it.
Or you could try just putting one thing on the board at a time…like whatever is next in her day. But that’s harder for you to keep up with. And moving the board to a prominent place also.
Again, she may be getting past that. Sadly, agitation is part of dementia. You’d be agitated too if you wanted to know something, but just couldn’t understand what you were seeing or being told.
Just be patient and loving with her the best you can. Dementia doesn't allow for many answers to the things we run across as caregivers.
I'd place it anywhere she would see it easily. Unsightly or not.
She needs structure. Greet her when she wakes and say what is on the agenda for the day.. At breakfast, say what is on the agenda for the day. Whenever she asks, say what's on the agenda. Don't get frustrated, if possible, just because you are repeating yourself.
Her brain is dying and apparently the short term memory section is gone.
She no longer understands the written word. You are trying to force her to understand, she has lost the ability to link things together, all this whiteboard stuff is frustrating her, it is like making her take a test, one that she will fail.
Just tell when needed and forget about trying to keep her informed of a schedule, what does she need one for anyway?
I am sure her daily schedule is basically the same day in and day out.
Have you considered trying something suitable for children with pictures for activities? Often you can find stickers to put on a calendar instead of words.
Make a colorful daily schedule with pictures.
Have you tried not discussing a schedule at all, or if she asks, telling her she has nothing scheduled for the day?
Her agitation probably isn't about the schedule so much as it's frustration with how out of whack things seem to her. She could be trying to balance out the effects of the disease by wanting the structure a schedule provides, not realising that she can't recall anything around it.
My mom was always a monthly calendar kind of gal, so has kept on with a paper pocket calendar that has birthdays and holidays marked on it. (no appointments or events). She crosses off each day. I think having something she can carry gives her a physical cue. Visual cues stop working after a while.
If your mom persists, can you divert her with her some repetitive tasks, like folding laundry? If you think that she's focusng a bit too much on the schedule, like an obsession, perhaps talk to her physician for some low dose anti-anxiety medication?
Pictures of things like teethbrushing, shower prep, breakfast, preparing for bed can be used every day, of course. This can help with reminders about daily routines as well. After a while, there's a shift so it's not you telling her what to do. In a way, the "schedule" becomes the boss.
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