My mother, 87 years old with dementia complains that she can not hear. I have taken her to the doctor, they do a hearing test and they say she is fine. No hearing aids are necessary. But when I speak to her she says she can not hear me. Anyone have the same problem or have suggestions?
It's then a brain issue. It depends on her level of dementia, but can also be caused by strokes and heart issues.
However there could be another reason: She may be practicing "selective hearing" and this is a favorite behavior of dysfunctional parents.
So, think about what type of relationship you have with your mother. Was she always the type to inflict guilt trips or attempt to control people with physical ailments? If so, she may be using selective hearing as a manipulative behavior.
I often see this with clients. The parent obviously hears every word spoken by me, but when their children say something they do not want to hear, they claim they can not hear them.
One client complained that she was talking with her brother and he was on a phone two rooms away from the mother, and her mother did not like what she heard the son telling the daughter, so she began yelling, from two rooms away, that what the son was saying was not true. Then she got on the phone, repeated every word the brother said, and claimed it was a lie.
Prior to that however, she would often tell her daughter that she could not hear her, each time she offered the mother a suggestion regarding her health or some other issue the mother refused to address.
Just some food for thought.
I got a couple of hear aids for my dad age 85 with Dementia. He like’s it so much he wants to wear it to bed and sometimes hides it at nights
when I need to place on recharger. The reason I got more than one hearing aid. For $19.99 plus tax, it helps & if dad loses it didn’t cost much. It’s made dad more comfortable & easier on me these 3 years living with me.
Hope this helps.
It’s worth trying
Dr. Gross
"I was thinking........how does....ah, roast beef sound for dinner?"
does she have a history of allergies causing fluid on her ears? In the midst of many health problems, my mother suddenly couldn’t hear. They did hearing test said she had permanent hearing failure and would need hearing aids. In the interim she started occasionally trying Flonase nose spray. This loosened the fluid up and caused her not to have hearing problems for around six months until spring allergies came back. Just a thought.
I don't think they are very expensive.
Even if it works as a placebo, it may help and worth the effort.
Next, realize that lots of drugs have an effect on hearing. Have your mother's prescriptions changed recently? Look up "drugs that can damage hearing" to see a list of possible culprits, called ototoxic drugs. Even aspirin, certain antibiotics, lasix, or common antidepressants can be guilty! (here's one site: https://www.hearingaids.com/2018/03/06/the-common-medications-known-to-cause-hearing-loss/)
The antibiotic Vancomycin, for instance, causes damage to the tiny hairs in the inner ear, especially in elderly people. My "patient" went into sepsis and had to be on IV antibiotics (including Vancomycin) for four days. He then took another oral antibiotic (Cipro) for 12 days. By the end of that time, his hearing was practically gone! It has never come back.
This may not help your mother much, but the law has recently changed regarding hearing aids. In August, 2020, they will no longer have to be prescribed by a hearing aid professional and will be available over the counter. Even CVS, Walgreen's, and Costco will carry them! They won't be individualized, of course, but they will be far better than the amplifiers that are available today. You'll be able to adjust volume and range to better suit the situation. From what I understand, they will cost about $500.
Just test the oil temp and the Apple vinegar & water temp on your wrist before you put it in...like you do with a baby bottle milk to make sure its just warm 70 at most...
The following night the other ear.
I do (& suggest) one ear per night...so the person can hear out of the other ear. Its uncomfortable not to hear...lets face it
Also a lack of calcium causes the auditory bones (in addition to the skeletal bones) to become thinner, so sound does not vibrate as well. And therefore the person cannot hear as well.
Dr Christopher has a Herbal Calcium capsules. I give my grandpa 3 with each meal..6 days a week. rest 1 day
repeat. there are no side effects as they are 'whole foods' not drugs, or active ingredients of ...And it doesn't interfere or interact with medications they may be taking. .I buy them on amazon
I have done this to my Grandpa once a year for the last 2 years and it really helps his hearing. He turns 85 this year...he can hear really w
She sure can hear anything I don’t want her to hear even in the quietest whisper...
charK
You may be able to get a social worker who can come right to your home. I'd call your County Area Agency on Aging and ask how to get a counselor who can come to the home.
So, no, I don't think your mom is taking. I'm guessing confusion. I'm a social worker from hospice; not a doctor.
Audiologist told me to always face her as she is really reading lips, even with the good hearing aids.
It is very hard to learn because the natural response is to raise your voice! (And when I raise my voice 'I' seem to think I am angry and feel frustrated so it has helped me to be more calm.
Dementia makes everything harder for her to understand. Sometimes it is not the hearing but the understanding.
For your scenario try writing what you want to say on a white board it will make communication less stressful.
He's missed so much in life--I feel sorry for him. He cannot hear the high tones of our grandkids' voices and they aren't going to have deeper voices for a long time yet. I tell them to speak slower to papa--but he hates being treated like an old duffer. which he is not! But hearing is a very 'active' sense and he has to make an effort, too. Your mom may not be able.
The audiologist did tell him to clean his ears EVERYDAY and his aids everyday also. Wax buildup is fast and can completely stop the sounds from getting in the ear!
next.
Try lowering the pitch of your voice and contrary to what you would think do not yell, yelling has a tendency to raise the pitch of the voice.
Look at your mom at eye level when talking to her. Let her see your face and read the expression you have that goes a long way in conveying what your words are saying.
Talk slowly, and distinctly, enunciate clearly.
I have read that it can take someone with dementia 30 to 40 seconds to hear then comprehend what was said and respond. In my world 45 seconds is a lifetime to wait for a reply. Give mom a bit of time to process your words.
My hearing is fine but I deal with individuals that don't do the above and I can not hear them.
Interesting, I remember the first attorney I worked for told me that I should practice speaking louder, stronger and more forthright. I thought it was for business communication purposes; now I wonder if he had some hearing deficit!
I like the lowering of your voice and looking at her. I would also make your sentence as short as possible and not give more than two choices. Because, Moms ability to process may be the problem. Your talking away and she is still trying to process the first word. So, if you need to know if she is ready to eat lunch, you want to say "lunch, are u ready?" Looking at her.
Dementia can have an impact on the way a person interprets information, so their hearing may be fine, but they may find it difficult, or they may take longer, to work out what is being said to them. They may struggle to distinguish between multiple sounds or conversations. Loud or sudden noises may also startle or frighten them.
Speak to her in a deeper/lower tone of voice. Sometimes they have a hard time hearing high pitched sounds. Give it a try.........what have you got to lose? Make sure the background/room noise is at a MINIMUM also.........many people with dementia have a very hard time processing noise.
Good luck!
I will try what you suggest and see how it goes.
Thank you