I have tried coaxing joking and everything I can think of to try to get her up. She has that demented strength where she fights me and just wants to stay in bed. How do I get her up? She also fights when I try to change her in bed yet she won’t get up to go to bathroom! I feel like I’m at my wits end with her.
Have you tried bringing a tray to the bedroom for her to eat from her bed? Does she sit up by herself?
What about having her doctor order a hospital bed? Or better yet, start looking into hospice organizations.
Have you considered placing her in a facility so you can rest? You can oversee her care and be an advocate for her.
Does she drink more than she eats? My mom enjoyed smoothies that I made for her.
I hope you will find a viable solution soon. Wishing you and your family all the best.
Best of luck to you.
And if she is in end stage vascular dementia I would bring hospice on board as they will supply a hospital bed and any other needed equipment, supplies and medications all covered 100% under your MIL's Medicare. They will also have a nurse come once a week to start and aides to come bathe her at least twice a week.
And she probably can no longer get out of bed. My late husband who had vascular dementia was completely bedridden for the last 22 months of his life. I had to hire an aide to come put him on the bedside commode every morning to he could poop.
Along with getting hospice on board it may also be time to have your MIL placed in the appropriate facility. Hospice can help you with that as well.
And please know as well that when someone is getting ready to die they won't want food or drink, and it can cause them great pain if either is forced as they're digestive system is the first to shut down.