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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I doubt she’s faking that. My mother-in-law doesn’t have dementia (she is kind of ditzy) but cornbread is her favorite food. She’d rather have cornbread & buttermilk (Southern United States here!) than any other food & will rave about it. Whether your MIL has dementia or not, I bet she was really happy with her cornbread so that’s just what she focused on.
It’s probably just the dementia. My husband wouldn’t remember going to a five hour respite care program (went twice a week and would say I didn’t go today), but would remember the yoga activity he did there. Perhaps the corn bread’s taste brought had more of a connection for her and she was able to remember it.
Somewhere, has your MIL been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia? This is pretty common for folks with Congestive Heart Failure.
Have you had any further discussions with your husband about placing mom in a facility?
If you have home health care workers coming in to care for her, WHY are you at home? Get out. Go to the library. (Do you work outside the home? Put in overtime!)
If your MIL was moved into your home without your consent, you shouldn't bother yourself with her. You say husband is cooking and doing her meds. Let him do it all.
If it becomes important to remember what was for lunch, it helps to ask my dH: "What would you call it?"
However, I do understand your concern is to understand her memory loss. You could ask her later, or rephrase the question, trying not to put her on the spot.
Another communication technique (used rarely), is to have a conversation with another person in Mil's presence, (for example) about the stew. Then, she might remember and speak up about it.
Your Mil could be going through an argumentative stage or episode. imo.
What other things have you noticed? There are times when I would not be able to tell you what I had for lunch yesterday but if you asked me 5 minutes after eating I would be able to tell you. Typically people don't "fake" memory loss. If you are at that stage most likely there is no underlying motive to "fake" something like that. There are usually other indications of memory loss. Have you discussed this with her doctor? Have other people noticed that something is amiss? A little more info as to what is going on would be helpful. And I am sure this will be asked but.. Where does she live? Does she live with you? Alone? With someone? How old is she? Any other health conditions?
She has lived with for a month now.Her daughter takes care of getting her prescriptions refilled and her mail etc.She had lived with the same daughter for 3 years but she could no longer take.And my husband jumped in to accomadate her in ours( against my knowledge)She is 90 and on oxygen and isn't allowed to go upstairs where the bedrooms and bathroom are.So living room is her room with shower my husband installed and her furniture , bedside toilet.she also has congestive heart failure.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Here's some background on the situation.
Somewhere, has your MIL been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia? This is pretty common for folks with Congestive Heart Failure.
Have you had any further discussions with your husband about placing mom in a facility?
If you have home health care workers coming in to care for her, WHY are you at home? Get out. Go to the library. (Do you work outside the home? Put in overtime!)
If your MIL was moved into your home without your consent, you shouldn't bother yourself with her. You say husband is cooking and doing her meds. Let him do it all.
"What would you call it?"
However, I do understand your concern is to understand her memory loss. You could ask her later, or rephrase the question, trying not to put her on the spot.
Another communication technique (used rarely), is to have a conversation with another person in Mil's presence, (for example) about the stew. Then, she might remember and speak up about it.
Your Mil could be going through an argumentative stage or episode. imo.
There are times when I would not be able to tell you what I had for lunch yesterday but if you asked me 5 minutes after eating I would be able to tell you.
Typically people don't "fake" memory loss. If you are at that stage most likely there is no underlying motive to "fake" something like that.
There are usually other indications of memory loss.
Have you discussed this with her doctor? Have other people noticed that something is amiss?
A little more info as to what is going on would be helpful.
And I am sure this will be asked but..
Where does she live? Does she live with you? Alone? With someone? How old is she? Any other health conditions?